Full Credits

Stats & Data

September 25, 2012

Nicolas Cage Dojo


The Nicolas Cage Couch offers a strange dilemma for me:
1.    It is by far the most outrageously extravagant  piece of furniture, I’ve ever seen, I would be willing to pay a year’s for it, even if I was employed. 
      2. I would never sit on Nic Cage’s face because it would be incredibly disrespectful
That said, I wanted to create an incredible Nicolas Cage themed room. It’s time to Cage out your room with real products (since the veracity of the couch is in question) to create the ultimate Nic Cage Dojo.
I spent the time searching through every item on ebay for Nic Cage: 3,740. 
Here’s what I found:
Dojo TIME!
Step one: You need a set of Nic Cage posters. There are several to choose from, so you must
In every Nic Cage Dojo, you must have Nicolas Cage action figures, I suggest the following: 
Windtalkers Set:
                                                                   Price: $75
Also the Ghost Rider whipping action Chain doll is a must. I believe looking over the extensive Nic Cage action doll faces that this by far is the most accurate and for 30 dollars, how can you go wrong? However, I will bid it up to a 100 and take you down.
Price: 30
And if you are in for the Rare Nic Cage detached head piece to put in your display case there is that as well from Drive Angry 3D, be quick, there's only 4 left: 
                                                                           Price: $30
Nic Cage action figure collection complete, nevermind, one addendum:
Extra pants for Johnny Blaze, in case you spill on your other ones: Price: $60 (more than doll)
What does Nic Cage have on Apple, only this: 
                                         Nic Cage Mouse Pad Price: $12.95, 10 available
In every great Cage Room, there must be time you set aside for reading, so why not check out a Cage script, with an autographs by the principle cast members no less: 
                                                     Price: $15.85, but expect a bidding war
Rare movie memorabilia of Cage, the time capsule drawings from Knowing:

                                          Price: $49, bidding war
What do you do to relax in Your Cage Dojo, how about a came of cards? 
7 of Spades & 8 of Clubs from The Boy in Blue: 
Buy now for: $10.74
Play a Nicolas Cage game of War, so what if it is only a 7 and an 8, that’s makes the game ll that more exciting. And is it a coincidence that Cage was born on the 7th of January and one of the cards is a 7? Or that Nic was in the Cotton Club and one of the cards is of Clubs? I don't think so. These two cards are special and I'm sure no other Nicolas Cage Card sets exist. 

Never mind: 
                                          Price: $14.95
And again, never mind: 
                                          Price: $14.95
Speaking of cards, how about a card that could beat any in War: with actual fabric from Nic Cage’s costume in his Oscar nominated performance in Adaptation:
Price: $18
Sidenote: I really want this so please no one bid on it. I'm hesitating to even put the link on here. Seriously, I will cry.
Are you ready for the election? I'm voting Bangkok Dangerous. 
Price: $3 
When leaving your dojo, you gotta have cash money. Go get that Cage Currency baby:
Price: $35.73, goes to charity though
 As far as pictures to hang, how about this classing up the joint with a Cotton Club Lobby Card:
Price: 34.99
Your Dojo needs a little spark, so how about Nic Cage running through fire: 
Price: 24.99
Knowing Trailer film cells, so you can have your own cellular version of Sir Cage, can also be a paperweight if you are worried about your MoonStruck script blowing away: 
Price: 4.99
 I bet you're thinking, hmmm... what if I need to send a letter from my Dojo kind of like the founding fathers did in clues so we could find their treasure? 
Price: $2.50
But what if I'm in in Sierra Leone and I refuse to send Nic Cage stamps unless his shirt is unbuttoned? 
Price: $3.00
Or if I'm in whatever the hell this country is and I want Nic to look like he's a member of Star Trek Enterprise:  
Price: $3.50
These countries better be paying Nic royalties, otherwise I’m pretty sure I discovered why he is in the financial mess he is at 1:34 AM September 25th.
Are you kidding me foreign countries? Seriously. Screw you guys. 
Price: $8.00
I’m going to be the only man in the world with a Nic Cage stamp collection. Why does that sound so cool to me? I need help. I just spent 5 hours on ebay researching this and still have not seen a problem with it. 
Cage at his Frenchiest, gives your room a little foreign flavor and romanticism: 
Price: 4.99
 What should go inside your closet: 
Absolutely certain you’ll be the only one with a: 
Trapped in Paradise T-shirt: 49.99
Spirit of a Vengeance Shirt: 
Price: 32.99
Throw this in your VHS: 
Nicolas Cage narrates Davy Crockett: 9.99
Hood ornament off Nicolas Cage's Jaguar, this would have gone lovely on my red minivan: 
Price: $2,900
The description takes the cake: I bought this Jaguar hood ornament last year at an auction where Nicolas Cage was (anonymously) unloading a lot of his personal possessions. I didn't realize at the time that it is not a standard Jaguar mascot
 How can this only be 14 bucks?: 
I’ll take mine in yellow please.
Ghost Rider preview bust: 
Price: $132.73
Cage Cartoons from the Chicago Tribune by Kerry Waghorn, to keep your room goofy:
Price: 14.99
The ghost Rider plate holder is a must for all plates, hopefully we can find a Nic Cage plate to put on it:
Your own Ghost Rider Jacket: 
Price: 160
If you ever wanted to leave your Dojo, and I can't imagine why, you need to lock your door so you aren't robbed of your keepsakes, so take this Key Ring (it says it's a Women Accessory, but it's obviously for both sexes): 
Price: 8.48
This is by far the most bizzare Cage item ever, it is an inscribed poetry book to Cage, but explanation of the product is unbelievable in its insanity: 
Price: $179.99
 The explanation: 
“Untranslated Korean Title” (likely poetry)
Seoul. Haneon. 2004. Octavo (6 inches x 8.5 inches). 265 pp.  Fine in original wrapper.
The inscription reads:
‘Nicolas Cage & Alice Cage

(untranslated Korean language text - we are in the process of having it translated)

God Bless You !

12 Dec 2004

(untranslated Korean name)

Cage met  Kim while she was an employee at L.A. nightclub Le Prive, they were later married on July 30, 2004 and have a son named Ka-El.
We have no idea what this book is or about since we do not read Korean. We suspect its a book of poetry given the serene imagery on the cover. We are in the process of having a Korean friend translate the title and inscription, but in the interim we decided to list and simply revise the description once we have the English translations.  

Additionally, on the inside flap is affixed a 4x6 yellow, lined post-it note for which we don't understand the meaning or context. It reads: 

 Hope this proves useful in locating the 'Stargate' and therefore confirming once and for all whether or not Egypt was (unintelligible) by an hemaphrodite with nipple rings ! Wish you and your expeditionary force success. Whatever you do don't drink the water. 

Yeah, that just happened, let's hope that is mistranslated Korean. 
 Korean Face-off Movie jacket: 
Price: 199.99
Inscribed Hotwheels pamphlet to Nic Cage from a premiere Hotwheels collector: 
Price: 99.99
More Reading Material: 
Cage and Connery, both in black turtle necks, and Cage rocking the little seen full beard: 
Price: 9.99
Nic Cage autograph in incredible suit with equally incredible fist pump: 
Price: $150
If you ever wondered what Nic Cage would look like Naked as a doll? I'm sure you have. This is the Johnny Blaze body or a miniature crash test dummy from Mythbusters being pawned off as a Johnny Blaze body: 
Price: 69.99
Your room needs light so you can see all of your colletion, so use this:
Price: 199.99
Say you need a smoke: 
Cigarette holder: 16.99
If you're not leaving your room, you need a small car to drive, so why not a Diecast of Nic’s 1937 Bugatti T57C: 
Price: $359
AND FINALLY to leave on your coatrack or plate holder, Blackheart's original coat from the movie Ghost Rider: 

Price: Priceless, but if you need an amount: $499
Your CAGE DOJO is now complete. 
The Hollywood Defender

The End

The End