Hall of Fame
You haven't dribbled your own balls all month. ( Dribble your balls so you don't get the cancer people for real. Hell i myself like to double dribble my balls all the time.)
You moved to W.V so you could literally shoot hoops. BANG ! BANG !
The last time you got laid The Pitt Panters basketball won the national Championship. So that would be never and you never will get laid, so you should just become a priest or a nun because your always going to get none.
You recorded all the games on your dad's VHS player that is in your parents basement where you live. Hell i know i do.
You need more cow bell. ( But don't we all big dogs )
Like ever year you cut your bracket picks into The high school football field. O yes it pays to be a creepy janitor.
You think the only way your pick is going to win it all this year is if the whole team is gay together before the big games. "The coach is a real ball buster." WE NEED THE LOVE ! BECAUSE YOU GOTTA WiN ! YOU GOTTA WiN ! YOU GOTTA WiN ! LOOK AT ME ! YOU GOTTA WiN !!!!!!
You just keep playing that song Basketball Jones over an over again on loop 24/7. Because you done got the mother f*cking basketball Jones PLAYER !
Your like a cartoon character you wear the same thing every day. An that one thing is 1960's basketball shorts. An thats it, because your free ballin. Because your an American son !
You take a shot every time a shot is shot.
You Locker Talk to your wife in the bathroom when she hits the showers and your on the can talking a big old dump talking to her about her in the sack. you dig.
Buzzer Beater shots make you have c*m shots.
You been fist fighting the T.V a lot as of late.
You sh*t your self at least twice a day.
You been going down to the hood courts every day because you think your a b-ball scout but really your just a homeless dude with a AM/FM raido .