Chuck Norris Jokes. (every time i say Shuck Norris take a drink and don't go p*ssing your pants now you hear.)
Published January 22, 2012 More Info »
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25 Funny Votes
3 Die Votes
Published January 22, 2012

Warning Chuck Norris may cause your mind to blow sucka!

Chuck Norris once impregnated a whole group of nuns at nunnery just by glim in his eye.

if Chuck Norris kicked you in the ball you and your whole family would die.

Chuck Norris doesn't drink beer. Beer drinks in Chuck.

Chuck Norris never ages because the world revolves around him.

Chuck Norris is so cool that Mary Moon lost her virginity to him.

Chuck Norris eats meat raw after killing what ever his eating with his bare hands like a real man.

Chuck Norris once kicked He-Man's ass.

Chuck Norris has never even once  jacked off because Chuck Norris has been laid since birth baby!.

The Only Reason way the Expendales 2 was the #1 box office moive in 2012 is because Chuck Norris is in it.

 They once made a video game about Chuck Norris but the game was discontinued because the character moves in the game where braking everyones t.v's from all the power of his kicks.

Chuck Norris's alter ego this the Dos Equis Guy for Chuck Norris is the most interesting man in the world.

The Only reason you live is because Chuck Norris lets us live.

So if Chuck Norris would ever take step into a sports bar it become a gay  bar for an automatic 5 seconds because everyone would we creaming there jeans.




Say the magic word.

So you want to be the president of the U.S.A?

My Dumbass Tips on how you win the whole damn thing SON!

#1A: Your number one so back down on your dreams of a better tomorrow for starters.

#1: End the war on drugs and legalize weed in all 50 states and tax that sh*t. "Hell Canada does it!" (If you want to see the death rate drop this needs to be done.)

#2: Get the f*ck up out of the middle-east and stay the f*ck out of that crazy ass sh*t. (Helping out and doing the right thing is one thing but staying there and doing what we are doing is somthing we can not doing anymore my peepz!)

#3: Help the poor by stoping this crooked rich assholes BS for good. (Don't get me wrong there are a lot of cool as hell rich mother f*ckers out there that are fine by me but we need to keep things as fair as we can so others can have change in there life for the good for once!)

#4 Always know what is going down in the world of pop culture for you must stay cool my brother.

#5 High Five! Because you gotz these play ah player! "just don't be a dick about."  

#6 An speaking of being cool. Backing gay rights and leting women choose sure would  be a big help. Remember now big kat your work for the people.  

#7 Know you role Jabroni. 



or Chuck Norris will come and kick your ass out your face.