5 Rhymes Proving Rick Ross is a Psychopath

This one is just completely perplexing on every conceivable level. If you’ve ever seen a picture of Ross, you would know he’s basically a walrus that let himself go. He’s got a figure big tubs of goo aspire for, so when he explains his postmortem desires, he’s either referring to somehow being compacted into something that could fit around one’s wrist, as if the perpetual dough-flow would cause him to implode himself like a dying star, OR that he would want his mammoth figure buried underground is a gigantic “dope ass watch” which, since it would be buried, wouldn’t even serve its proper purpose of telling anyone what time it was. It would quite honestly be much easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it would be to fulfill Rick Ross’ burial desires.

So clearly, Ross is completely insane. Is it a failure of music journalism and the modern press as a whole that this hasn’t gotten more widely reported? I’d say no as, more importantly, the song is absolutely awesome. There’s a reason why crazy people are so interesting. Thankfully, we have one more genuine nutcase to entertain us on rap records.