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Go ahead, reach back into that melon of yours and recall some of your finest moments frolicking in that fictional dreamland. A land where you have a 99.9% chance of sleeping with a different women every night. Yes, even the married can indulge. The place I wish I called my home. La la land.
Published June 28, 2012 More Info »
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Published June 28, 2012

Top 5 ways of knowing whether you are living inside an actual dream or just another schmuck with his head in the clouds.

1. Do you sleep with a different woman (or man) every single night?

2. Do you ride unicorns with pony-tails in your hair (again, woman or man)? 

3. Have you ever been shot in the chest by gangsters and the next minute you're singing like a bird?

4. Have you ever had intercourse with an animal wearing the face of a human or vice versa? 

5. Note: Height requirement is 5'5" or less for this one — Have you ever slam dunked a basketball on an official sized basketball rim, two hands, no trampoline, and no boost?

Brief Summary

If you did not answer yes to at least two of the above questions, drop what you're doing, storm into your bosses office and slap him with your two week notice of resignation. In other words, quit that will-sucking job of yours and start living life before you find yourself bat-shit crazy.

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