6 Children's Toys With Unintentional Penises

By You're Doing It Wrong April 27, 2011 | 205,968 Views
Hi Toy Makers. You may have noticed that you've been putting penises in products meant for children. Total lolfest, right? Actually, yes.

1. Beauty and the...

belle-cup.jpg
 
What is this? Oh just a limited edition Princess Belle likely pimped out to children ordering chicken nuggets and french fries at birthday parties.
Where's the dick? First it's on her crotch, which raises many questions about Belle and her already unconventional relationship with the Beast. But then it's in the child's mouth, as he/she sucks her dry. Happy Meals!

(pic via Tosh.0)

2. Holy Unintentional Penis Batman



What is this? A Batman squirtgun of course.
Where's the dick? In your children's hands when they're shooting liquids on people's clothes and sometimes faces if they weren't expecting it or if they turned toward you at the "wrong" time. 

(pic via the internet)

3. So That's Why Kids Love Quidditch

dubious_dolls_9.jpg

What is this? Harry Potter's vibrating broom. To clarify, it's a broom a child puts between his/her legs. A broom that vibrates. 
Where's the dick? Seriously? This whole thing's a dick. A giant vibrating dick. 

(pic via Time)

4. Sticky Bear is... Sticky?



What is this? An adhesive hook that makes hanging coats n' stuff fun for the whole family. Also a sexually aroused bear. 
Where's the dick? 3M, the makers of this product, weren't really pulling any punches here. Basically someone at the board meeting was like "I'd love it if kids could hang their coats on a dick. I know what you're saying, don't kids love bears, too? Well, this is what we in the dick business call a 'Win Win'." 

(pic via Texyt)

5. Dora's Exploration

dora-aquapet.jpg

What is this? A giant dick. 
Where's the dick? In the subconscious of all toy-makers.  

(pic via Liquid Egg Product)

6. Punishing Indeed


What is this? An action figure for the comic book character, The Punisher. And his missile launching dick. 
Where's the dick? Right where it belongs, firing missiles at enemies. If this isn't a metaphor for why men start wars, I don't know what is. 

(pic via Geek Tyrant)

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  • Heh
  • i think the last one's fake and the 5th is questionable...
  • Way too funny not to repost . . . . lolol
  • to much time on peoples hands
  • Hahaha and we wonder where the kids are getting it from... When it's right in their hand's.. Literally...
  • Hilarious!
  • Oh my....this is hilarious.
  • disturbingly hahaha-ish!!
  • This is a hoot.....nice gag gifts for adults
  • Funniest thing EVER. bahahahahahaha.
  • Wow... what more can I say...
  • the funniest shit ever
  • this is awesome and disturbing way to teach little kids about body parts and whatnot
  • Oh MY!
  • OMG.. this toys would be a great"show & tell" @ school...LOL
  • Poor Gurl Toyz lolx
  • hahahaha
  • I'll take the vibrating broom!
  • My daughter got a Dairy Queen toy that looks a lot like the Dora Aquapet, the first time I saw it I was thinking "that looks a lot like.... Noooo get your mind of the gutter, it's a toy!!!" Just glad that I wasn't the only one thinking that. lol
  • look at some of the Disney movie covers. The castle's on Little Mermaid.....
  • This makes me sick!!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!!!!
  • It looks like The Punisher is saying " What has two thumbs and no reason to live....This guy".
  • oooooooooooollllllld. Cracked beat them to this years ago, and did it with alot better humor. Lame.
  • Toys...they're not just for kids anymore....
  • My old lady's got one too but it's bigger and you put batteries in it !
 
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