Sarah Palin Lite saying incorrect things!
Before we get going, let's just set the record straight: while Bachmann is a Republican candidate, this is not meant to be conservative bashing. This is just an example of a dumb person saying dumb things. That, regardless of affiliation, needs to be called out. But to balance things, please see this picture of Joe Biden deep-throating a sandwich. He is second in command. Let us never forget that.
Anyway, onto Bachmann saying stupid things! Good thing she home-schools her 28 children! Yes, 28! All learning the ways of the world from a master!
1. Comparing Herself to a Serial Killer
Bachmann kicked off her presidential campaign this week in her home town of Waterloo, Iowa. She made a point to compare herself to fellow Waterloo resident, John Wayne. Yes! John Wayne = America. That is a logical comparison to make when running for President. Buuuuuuuuut perhaps she should've done more than skim the Wikipedia page she got that info from, as the John Wayne who once called Waterloo home isâ¦John Wayne Gacy.
Who's that, you ask? Dynamite question. Gacy is a serial killer, better known as "Killer Clown" after he raped and murdered 33 teenage boys in the 70s. Totally spot on comparison when you consider Bachmann's new campaign poster:*Original clown image via David Weiner
2. Founding Fathers' Mission to Abolish Slavery
Said Bachmann: "The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
Yes yes, our founding fathers fought a vigorous fight against slavery. But just to be sure, let me just crunch some numbers here. By the time slavery was abolished, known slave-owner/founding father Thomas Jefferson had been dead for 39 years and known slave-owner/founding father George Washington had been dead for 66. That can't be right. Oh wait, the founding father she specified was John Quincy Adams. That's fair. He was in fact nine years old when the Declaration of Independence was signed and was clearly a major player. Silly me.
3. Lexington and Concord Fought in New Hampshire
In a speech in New Hampshire, she announced she was in the "state where the shot was heard round the world at Lexington and Concord."
Remember that history lesson you had in 5th grade (or 6thâ¦or 7thâ¦or, oh fuck it, you had it every year in middle school) about the shots at Lexington and Concord? That was a great lesson, right? It evoked the spirit of the American Revolution. It's like you could feel yourself fighting for our freedom on the Massachusetts soil! Key word being "Massachusetts."
4. Just Flat Out Talking Gibberish
5. Democrats = Swine Flu Fanatics
Finding faults in the opposing party's leaders is not out of the ordinary. You find your weaknesses and you attack. It's an unfortunate, yet necessary, aspect of the two-party system. Like if you think there's a connection between Swine Flu and having a Democrat in the White House, you may go ahead make that claim because it is an obvious Achilles' heel of the Democrats and it needs to be exploited. Democrats love giving people diseases and that's been as clear as day since FDR advocated that all Americans be injected with the polio virus.
Bachmann was insane astute enough to make the connection that before Obama, the last time we saw an outbreak of Swine Flu was during Jimmy Carter's term. Great catch, Michelle! Also totally false. Not that it matters, but it was actually Gerald Ford in office. Whatever, Democrats love sick people because it's all part of their twisted plan to make sure everyone who needs healthcare gets it. Obviously.
- The correct name of the tariff act is the "Smoot-Hawley." And the really funny part? It's actually referenced--correctly--in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and appears on the blackboard behind Ben Stein in his classroom scene.
- FYI...it's spelled 'Concord'.
- OMG REPUBLICAN BASHING!!! THIS IS SO ORIGINAL AND EDGY!!! HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS COMEDIC GOLD?!?!
- Oh, it is fun with gaffes Time? Great! Here are some from Obama. "I have now been in 57 states, I think one left to go." " Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, these countries are tiny compared to the Soviet Union. They don't pose a serious threat to us." "Iran may spend one one-hundreth of what we spend on the military." 24 Hours later "Iran is a grave threat, it has an illicit nuclear program, it supports terrorism across the regions and militias in Iraq." Obama was born in 1961, The civil rights Selma march, in Alabama, was in 1964. "But something stirred across the country because of what happened in Selma, Alabama. Because some folks were willing to march across a bridge. And so they(his parents) got together and Barack Obama, Jr. was born. So don't tell me I don't have a claim on Selma, Alabama. Don't tell me I'm not coming home when I come to Selma , Alabama. I'm here because somebody marched for our freedom." "This week there was a tradegy in Kansas, 10 thousand people died, an entire town destroyed." Actual reported death count: 11 "I had a uncle who was one of the , who was part of the First American troops to go into Auschwitz and liberate the concentration camps. And the story in our family was is that, when he came home , He just went up into the attic, and he didn't leave the house for six months." Actually: Auschwitz was liberated by Russias's Red Army. Obama's great Uncle helped liberate Buchenwald. "One such translator was an American of Haitian descent, representative of the extraordinary work that our men and women in uniform do all around the world -- Navy Corpse-Man Christian Brossard." –mispronouncing "Corpsman" (the "ps" is silent) during a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast, Washington, D.C., Feb. 5, 2010 (The Corpsman's name is also Christopher, not Christian) "The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries." --Tampa, Fla., Jan. 28, 2010 "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems." –attempting to make the case for government-run healthcare, while simultaneously undercutting his own argument, Portsmouth, N.H., Aug. 11, 2009 "The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system." --in remarks after a health care roundtable with physicians, nurses and health care providers, Washington, D.C., July 20, 2009 "It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing." --confusing German for "Austrian," a language which does not exist, Strasbourg, France, April 6, 2009 "What I was suggesting -- you're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith..." --in an interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, who jumped in to correct Obama by saying "your Christian faith," which Obama "I'm here with the Girardo family here in St. Louis." --speaking via satellite to the Democratic National Convention, while in Kansas City, Missouri, Aug. 25, 2008 "Let me introduce to you the next President -- the next Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden." --slipping up while introducing Joe Biden at their first joint campaign rally, Springfield, Illinois, Aug. 23, 2008 "Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain...administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change." --Amman, Jordan, July 22, 2008 "How's it going, Sunshine?" --campaigning in Sunrise, Florida "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." "The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, you know, there's a reaction that's been bred in our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society." Now you could find many more. And this man is President. The brilliant, intelligent, Messiah. But ofcourse, he is black and a democrat. But ofcourse, Bachmann is the idiot. Typical republican and all. Yeah, okie dokie. More like hypocrisy as usual.
- It freightens me that this woman is even in the running for the presidency. That's a scary, scary thought.
- Michelle Bok-Choy for El Presidente!!!
- What planet does she live on?!
- Had to share this one, she is the current front runner of the Republican Party...just saying...
- Haha..."Sarah Palin Lite!"
- Save us!!
- is she democrat or republican?
- Ahhh shall we go to the Obama map of 58 states??? What she has done pales on comparison to the great BO!!! Just the last Thursday he addressed a group of soldiers and was proud to say he had given a soldier a congressional medal of honor not posthumously .. OOOOOPPPSSSS!!! That crazy BO!! The soldier in fact was dead!!! Hmmm that's funny why isn't this HORRENDOUS gaff not posted???
- Why can't we have one normal fucking female Republican candidate? Jesus...
- on behalf of "mentally ill" people everywhere (i have been diagnosed with bipolar): STOP COMPARING US TO STUPID PEOPLE. with us you have board certified professionals giving you REASONS for why we're crazy. the rest of you are in denial. quit treating mental illness like it makes one a secondary citizen. in all likelihood the collective consciousness of my defined group is better than yours. we've learned to survive on the shitty system employed and still manage to find reasons to be happy every day. the best of us break the rules and go off meds. cannabis is the only philosopher-certified medicine; because i said so. STUPIDITY IS NOT LINKED TO CRAZINESS. your greatest hits of thinkers of all times are all on MY team, so stop offending people who WILL speak up for themselves. CHECKMATE!!!
- I totally down for having a clown for president...what a dolt.
- One point of contention here regarding the Hoot-Smalley tariff. First of all, she was referring to the Smoot-Hawley tariff. So she got the letters backward. Big deal. That wasn't even the biggest flub!! The biggest eff-up that she made on this subject was attributing to the wrong president (FDR) and saying that it caused the depression, when it fact it was enacted after the Great Depression had already started.
- Dude she makes Sarah Palin look like a saint.. At least Sarah thinks people are created equal and won't kill all non believers in Jesus... There is a reason this lady is in the tea bagger party.. cause if she is elected... you will wake up to find her nut sack on your face.
- Yes, I agree! She ISthe perfect Republican! And Chris...I want to copy and send your "facts" into the Facts site to see how true THEY are!
- Ahh, and God smiles on us once again. Does Dick Cheney make these people in his evil science lab "That's right folks, Dick Cheney's Evil Science Kit from WHAMO!"
- could be worse, obama could get a 2nd term, yikes!!
- Interesting how Bachmann intimidates the squishy left with her views and intellect, so much so they must digress into silly name calling and dishonest smears. Now that's funny.
- Facts we don't need no sticking facts !!!