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Mind ramblings from a hungover Chicagoan...
Published August 13, 2010 More Info »
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Published August 13, 2010

-    I think that every question should start with: “On a scale from 1 to 10…”
-    I think that Earth is going to kick Jupiter’s ass in World War VI
-    I think that Jupiter is being a bully to Pluto. 
-    I think that Pluto was named after a Disney Character.
-    I think that Disney should have more animated pornos.
-    I think that Porno would be a great name for my first child.
-    I think that my second child will be slightly retarded... but I’ll love that thing.
-    I think that “The Thing” is the greatest movie of all time… wait, I meant “The Godfather”.
-    I think movies are Los Angeles’s way of saying:  “We’re pretty cool”.  They’re not.
-    I think that “Hollywood” would be a cool nickname for anyone. 
-    I think that cool people would be cooler if they were freezing.
-    I think that I’d rather be freezing than on fire. 
-    I think that a fire is the coolest… ironic play on words isn’t it? 
-    I think that words were probably helpful in the development of human culture.
-    I think that my phone should have a voice saying “Ring, Ring”  everytime someone calls me.
-    I think Alexander Graham Bell would hate people using text messages.
-    I think text messaging loved ones is the best way to say:  “I love you.” Much better than having to say it. 
-    I think that the word “Love” should be pronounced differently… more like Loathe. 
-    I think that saying : “I loathe you”, is more classy than saying “I hate you”. 
-    I think that hate is such a strong word… much like the word:  “fuck”
-    I think that the word “Fuck” is best used as a verb (or noun, or pronoun, or adverb).
-    I think the English language should thank black people for inventing words. 
-    I think black people should be called brown people.  
-    I think polar bears are racist against black and brown bears.
-    I think that bears usually have good middle linebackers. 
-    I think that when Brian Urlacher retires from the Chicago Bears, their new middle linebacker should be a grizzly bear…  then we would really see some receivers get their heads taken off.
-    I think that football should be called soccer.
-    I think that sports were invented by geeks. 
-    I think I’ll give an atomic wedgy to the next person who says:  “There’s a little bit of geek inside every one of us”.
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