What You Need to Write a Short, Witty List

-An open room, with exactly 2 windows
-A laptop
-Your favorite poster of William Daniels, the acclaimed actor who gained recognition as Mr. George Feeny in ABC's Boy Meets World
-A glass of water
-The Mel Gibson Mug Shot (circa 2011)
-A pen or pencil
-Your great grandfather's favorite roll of tape
-Your great grandfather's favorite roll of tapeworms
-Your great grandfather's favorite role played by Harrison Ford
-If he doesn't say Han Solo or Indiana Jones, then tell him that 'Nam is still going on
-Well, I guess if he said Blade Runner or The Fugitive, you could lessen his sentence and say that its the Korean War that never ended
-I mean no disrespect to Korean War veterans
-Except you, Henry
-I will never forgive you
-A notebook
-Your copy of The Notebook
-A tissue, so you can wipe the tears off of your copy of The Notebook
-Tissues, for your allergies
-A television
-Henry, I can't believe what you did to my family!
-My mother is a wonderful human being, and you sicken me!
-A keyboard
-A nearby bathroom
-Henry, if I EVER see your face again, I will rip it off and bake it in an omelette!
-Except for our Christmas party, where you are ALWAYS welcome
-But other then that, you better back off
-Now take a second look at that poster of Mr. Feeny
-Then write your list