- When you’re driving by yourself and see a pretty girl walking you honk the horn, slow down and yell, “Hey good looking, I’ll be back to pick you up later!"
- When your kid’s friends talk about their ski trip you chime in with, “Yeah, those double black diamonds can be a little tricky.”
- After returning home from a party where friends politely clapped during your karaoke performance you frantically scour the internet for information on the next American Idol auditions.
- You inquire about open-mic night at your local comedy club after your Aunt, who currently resides in a “county facility”, laughs heartily at all your one-liners.
- You’re seriously considering purchasing the tightest pair of Wrangler jeans that are anatomically possible.
- You’re seriously considering driving to a mall two hours away from your home and cruising the mall in your new Wrangler jeans.
- You tell people that there’s no doubt in your mind that you could have played division-3 basketball but you chose the “academic” route.
- When the new girl at the local coffee shop consistently puts excess whipping cream on your latte you say to yourself, “Still got it.”
- When you’re at the mall with your new Wranglers you go up to at least five separate sales girls and say, “Hey little filly!”
- You ask to borrow your neighbor’s life-size Barbie doll for a “CPR” demonstration class.