or
Men love putting their dicks into things. That being said, getting your pass to butt sex town is usually an uphill battle filled with pleading, bribes, and loss of dignity. But a lot of men have no idea why. So, to get to the bottom of this booty conundrum, here are some insights into what she's thinking.
Published July 13, 2011 More Info ยป
2,133 Funny Votes
1,736 Die Votes
163,864 Views
Published July 13, 2011

Put a Ring On It, Then We'll Talk.


No one's gonna buy the cow if you're giving away the anal for free...

She Doesn't Have a Butthole.


Women can do anything: knit, cook, clean, bare children, hold feathered fans and collapse into fainting chairs...

One thing we're still working on? Pooping. The fairer sex doesn't poop, fart, or pass anything of any kind that is "icky" or otherwise unfeminine. So good luck trying to navigate a way in!

Would You Want Something Shoved Up Your Ass?


Hell, maybe you do want something up there, I don't know you. In fact, you could be the kind of kinky bitch that I've been waiting for my whole life, in which case- call me!

She Has Coprophobia (aka 'Fear of Poop').


For some it's spiders, others fear snakes, and then there are those who have a fear of bootycakes.

She's a Prude.


In spite of what hours of enjoyable Redtube videos would lead you to believe, not all women love sex with men.

These women are sometimes called "Fuddy-Duddies," while other times called "Lesbians."

She Saw 'Brokeback Mountain.'


We all remember that scene where Heath Ledger (too soon?) flips Michelle Williams over so she can take it like a man. Thus, we all know what a wanton desire for butt pirating means...

YOU DON'T GO UP THERE TO FISH!

She Wants To Play Coy.


Let's face it, your girl lost her virginity years ago and ever since she has been a shitload of fun! Pun intended.

That being said, sometimes women tell white lies to protect your/their image. In other words, this may not be her first time at the rodeo, but that doesn't mean she wants you to know that.

She Doesn't Like Surprises.


One minute you're spooning, the next thing she knows you've gone and slipped in the tip.

Not smooth, guy.

"It's Gross."


Admittedly, feces comes out of there, right?

So, when a girl utters these magical words it might be time to remind her that blood and the occasional "period berries" come out of the other hole.

Girls: we're one big bag of disgusting.

She's Saving it For Someone Better.


Every gal has standards.

And while your minimum wage job and tattoo of the Chinese symbol for serenity might get your python access to the front door, she may be saving the VIP access for someone who's better on paper.

Also, she might be a gold digging trollop- so watch out.
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web