Since the beginning of time humans have loved our primate ancestors. We have monkeys as pets, we stare at chimpanzees in the zoo, and we watch movies with gorillas in them. Right now, the number one movie at the box-office for the second week in a row, and grossing almost $200 million dollars, is Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Not a coincidence that it’s main character is a chimpanzee. So far, 2011 has brought with it some movies that weren’t as lucky at the box office. These movies cost millions of dollars to make, yet the studios didn’t even make their money back. Well, here’s how they can! Re-release the films with a Planet of the Apes twist!
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Written by Keith Saltojanes
Follow me on twitter @keithsaltojanes
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118 Funny Votes
22 Die Votes
Published: August 17, 2011

1. Judy Moody and the Silly Simian Summer

ORIGINAL TITLE: Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
NEW APED-TITLE: Judy Moody and the Silly Simian Summer

This movie based on the popular kids book series cost $20 million to make and has only earned $13.4 million to date.  Sure, kids might not know what ‘Simian’ means, but once they see the apes on screen it won’t even matter.

2. Mars Needs Ape-Moms

NEW APED-TITLE: Mars Needs Ape-Moms

Mars Needs Moms was the
most expensive bombs in Hollywood history, costing at least $150 million to produce and grossing a total $39 million.  This small change would have made all the difference.

3. Sucker Punch...But with Apes This Time!

NEW APED-TITLE: Sucker Punch...But with Apes This Time!

This female action-fantasy earned $89.8 million Worldwide and cost roughly $82 million to produce.  The film basically broke even, but with an addition of Apes dancing on tables, they would have made way more.

4. Green Lantern

NEW APED-TITLE: Green Lantern

Costing at least $200 million to produce, this superhero pic will top out at roughly $250 million, making nowhere near as much as anticipated.  This isn’t so much about changing the title, as it is just a better casting choice. Yes, a chimpanzee can out act Ryan Reynolds.

5. Mel Gibson Goes Ape-Shit

NEW APED-TITLE: Mel Gibson Goes Ape-Shit

Just to prove he's still nuts, Mel Gibson stars in this dramedy with a beaver puppet. This was the biggest flop of the year, costing the studio $20 million to make and grossing less than $1 million. It's not too late for the studio though; they just have to make Mr. Gibson look a little bit more like an Ape than he already does in real life.

And who wouldn’t want to see Braveheart’s William Wallace as a chimp?