1. Nothing will ever be as bangarang dope as Jay-Z ordering Beyonce to sing the hook for âForever Youngâ over and over like he was her master. âAGAIN! AGAIN! ONE MORE TIME, B! DO IT IF YOU WANT TO EAT!â as fireworks blasted above them. Then Jay told everyone he was stoked to see The Yeasayers. That ruled, also.
2. Funny Or Die is not going to be giving away âDick Towelsâ this year. Sad face.
3. I hear Kirsten Dunst is going to STAGECOACH instead.
4. James Murphy is dead retired. Heâs dead to me for covering Franz Ferdinand, anyway.
5. OMC got shafted from the lineup, yet again. How Bizarre â my thoughts exactly.
6. Still not sure who the fuck these guys are. (Hint: Itâs Cafianes. Not Early 90âs Pearl Jam). Please email me if youâve heard of, or heard them. Seriously. I donât believe theyâre a real band.
7. These guys are the special guest, but theyâre flying Soutwest to get to Indio. Out of France.
8. Earl Sweatshirt canât make it. He still be in boot camp. Or sleepaway camp. Camp Nowhere, specifically. Point is: No Earl, no Matt. GOLF WANG. 666. Eat roaches. Hang yourself. (Just kidding, seriously, gaiyz. Donât do that. I know the line-up is kinda weak, but DO NOT hang yourself just because Tyler did in the âYonkersâ video).
9. Scotty McCreery of American Idol fame will not be playing the Gobi Tent.
10. This guy is going to Bonnaroo
11. Because I am ultimately afraid of running into this guy again: