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William and Kate are having a baby! So what are you getting them? You might want to consider some of these sure-to-please gifts.
Published December 04, 2012 More Info »
275 Funny Votes
485 Die Votes
Published December 04, 2012


The royals are some of the most photographed people in the world. So get something to protect that baby's eyes - a sweet pair of shades. Not only will the baby already look way cooler than anyone else in that family (except Harry...goddamn that Harry), but the shades will give the baby a "Bitch, please" look that other royals shy away from.

A Baby Fascinator!

It's really worth hoping this baby is a girl just so we can get this look as often as possible.

Beats by Dre Headphones!

For when the deafening silence at family dinners with the Queen is just too much. Plus, everyone in the Royal Family is too polite to talk at meals, and when they do, it's BORESVILLE-UPON-AVON, ENGLAND!

A Simple Weave

It'd be nice to have another person with hair in that family.

A Bottle of Jack Daniels

Baby's first shot! From this guy, obviously.

Harry Potter!

No, like actual Harry Potter. Buy Daniel Radcliffe!

An Appearance on Toddlers and Tiaras

There’s absolutely no reason that a baby this well-bred should be anything but a Mini Grand Supreme pageant winner. Not only do pageant babies have class, elegance and sophistication, they also wear the biggest crowns - totally befitting a royal baby.

An "I LOVE MY NANNY" onesie

Give a shout-out to whoever is gonna raise this thing!

A Playhouse!

That is the size of an actual house!

Homemade Baby Food!

Just pick any of England's favorite foods, blend them up into a nice puree, and send them over. Choose from delcious things like STEAK AND KIDNEY PIE! Or whip up some JELLIED EELS! Or, just send them some HEAD CHEESE, as is. You know Head Cheese? It's the meat from the head of a pig wrapped in jelly, remember? The consistency is soft, perfect for baby! CONGRATS, WILLS AND KATE!