1. Don't Get a Forehead Bagel
Honestly, why on earth would you do this? There is no good reason to get a forehead bagel. Honestly, not one.
2. Seriously, don't.
Thanks for staying with me here, but my feelings about this have not changed. THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER. I would say "trust me" but shouldn't you trust yourself on this one? There should be no doubts in your mind that this is an absolutely fucking crazy thing to do.
3. You're Still Here.
Hey, I heard you're still here. My previous efforts haven't worked up until now. Let's try a different tactic. DO.YOU.WANT.TO.LOOK.LIKE.THIS?
4. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
SOMEONE IS PUTTING SOMETHING THAT IS THE SHAPE OF A BAGEL INTO YOUR FOREHEAD! AND YOU'RE SMILING ABOUT IT?! NOTHING HAS EVER LOOKED WORSE ON A HUMAN BEING. EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANS. NOT EVEN EAR CUFFS! But yeah, bagels are delicious.
5. Okay, Just Get One
I've done all I can to warn you about this, but it's obviously not taking. Look like a fucking maniac, I don't care anymore. I tried with you, but you are a train that cannot be stopped. Get a forehead bagel. I guess your forehead's not doing much else anyway, so what difference does it make? But I can promise you this - people with forehead bagels will be the first to go once we're in full-cannibal mode after the apocalypse. Because bagels.