You want the world to know something about you, something often ostentatious, so you promote that something…with a sticker…on your bumper.
Youâre probably a partisan pothead: âLegalize Itâ; worship Glenn Beck: âObama Is Hitlerâ; or otherwise have odd, but strong convictions: âPeople Against Zombiesâ or "Palin for Imperial Leader."
Nobody knows who that person is or cares, except you; youâre probably related to them and were pressured into putting the sticker on your vehicle.
My party won (and is better)
You still have a Bush/Cheney sticker on your SUV and/or the mast of your sailboat.
My party lost (but should have won)
Youâre still proudly parading Gore/Lieberman 2000 around town and regularly wake up in the middle of the night screaming, âRecount!â
My kidâs an honor student
âWow, Iâm impressed. Good for them and their high achieving childâ âNot one person, ever.
Ivy League, good for youâ¦gooooood for you. And I see that you are driving a BMW. You are certainly doing well. You mustâve majored in Conceited Studies.
âShit happensâ- this is OK.
You still listen to the radio? Why would you put a sticker on your car to let everyone know?
Did you really put a bank bumper sticker on your car? Even people who work at that bank donât do that.
Translation: âI go to church every Sunday and even some other days of the week, too. Iâm virtuously better than you or at least thatâs what I want people to think about me. Do you think I go to church because I like it!?â
Translation: âOn weekends Iâm very busy, often multi-tasking: watching TV, drinking beer, eating nachos and shouting at a luminous box.â
Cartoon pissing on Ford/Chevy
This sticker doesn't upset the Ford or Chevy owners as much as it does geriatrics with prostate issues who have trouble urinating.
I'm an advocate
You eat meat and shoot things or donât like people who eat meat and shoot things.
Translation: âEveryone take notice of my paid for patriotism; got it at the gas station. No it wasnât made in China. It was made in the Philippines. Thereâs a difference!â
Translation: âIâm tolerant.â You probably live in San Francisco and drive a Prius.