Types of Bumper Stickers and Their Respective Owners

By Ife Arted April 15, 2011 | 221 Views
You want the world to know something about you, something often ostentatious, so you promote that something…with a sticker…on your bumper.

Radical choice

You’re probably a partisan pothead: “Legalize It”; worship Glenn Beck: “Obama Is Hitler”; or otherwise have odd, but strong convictions: “People Against Zombies” or "Palin for Imperial Leader."

Local politician

Nobody knows who that person is or cares, except you; you’re probably related to them and were pressured into putting the sticker on your vehicle.

My party won (and is better)

You still have a Bush/Cheney sticker on your SUV and/or the mast of your sailboat.

My party lost (but should have won)

You’re still proudly parading Gore/Lieberman 2000 around town and regularly wake up in the middle of the night screaming, “Recount!”

My kid’s an honor student

“Wow, I’m impressed. Good for them and their high achieving child” –Not one person, ever.

Prestigious University

Ivy League, good for you…gooooood for you. And I see that you are driving a BMW. You are certainly doing well. You must’ve majored in Conceited Studies.

Humorous

“Shit happens”- this is OK.

Radio station

You still listen to the radio? Why would you put a sticker on your car to let everyone know?

Bank

Did you really put a bank bumper sticker on your car? Even people who work at that bank don’t do that.

Religious

Translation: “I go to church every Sunday and even some other days of the week, too. I’m virtuously better than you or at least that’s what I want people to think about me. Do you think I go to church because I like it!?”

Sports team

Translation: “On weekends I’m very busy, often multi-tasking: watching TV, drinking beer, eating nachos and shouting at a luminous box.”

Cartoon pissing on Ford/Chevy

This sticker doesn't upset the Ford or Chevy owners as much as it does geriatrics with prostate issues who have trouble urinating.

I'm an advocate

You eat meat and shoot things or don’t like people who eat meat and shoot things.

American flag

Translation: “Everyone take notice of my paid for patriotism; got it at the gas station. No it wasn’t made in China. It was made in the Philippines. There’s a difference!”

Confederate flag

Translation: “I’m tolerant.” You probably live in San Francisco and drive a Prius.
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