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That's it, we're moving to Europe.
Published September 08, 2010 Immortal More Info ยป
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Published September 08, 2010

Zurich's recent decision to build "Sex Boxes" as a way to accommodate prostitutes got us thinking about what other strange tactics European countries still employ.

Turns out there's a bunch. And while most may be inane and archaic, there's no doubt that we've never been more interested in moving to Europe.

"Oh, did you say 'sex boxes'?"

10. Sex Boxes

Yup, instead of cracking down on Prostitutes like we here in America have, Zurich figured it might as well corral them...with "Sex Boxes." Oh, what's a sex box? It's just a place for men to park their cars while they have sex with prostitutes without disturbing the neighborhood. No big deal.

9. No Cabs For Plague Victims

In England, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague. Sorry, invalids. You'll have to ride public transportation on your way back to the middle ages.

8. If You Must Urinate In Public...

If you must urinate in public, and you happen to be in England, for the love of god, just piss on the rear wheel of a car and keep your right hand on the vehicle at all times. We can't stress that enough. It's perfectly legal, and honestly, pretty self-explanatory.

7. No Car Washing On Sunday

If you do piss on your car (and we all think you should), we all know the first thing you'll want to do is take it to Switzerland and give the ol' Sunday scrubdown. Don't. For some reason, the Swiss have deemed it illegal to wash a car on a Sunday. And while we can't back this up, we've heard that if you "accidentally" spray your female best friend and end up in a flirty water fight, you're executed on the spot.

6. Drunk + Cows = Jail

In Scotland, it's against the law to be drunk while in possession of a cow. A valid concern, Scotland, but what if the cow bought the liquor? Oh, sorry for blowing your mind.

5. Fish For Sale, Half Off

"Take it off!" That's what you'd be saying to the hot number in the picture if you were in Liverpool right now. There, it is prohibited by law to walk around topless, unless she is selling exotic fish at the market. Obviously.

4. Killing Douchebags

In the city of York, it's perfectly legal to kill douchebags. Well, that's only true if you're definition of "douchebag" is "Scotsmen walking around with a bow and arrow." Luckily that's how I define it, so if you'll need me, I'll be within the city's ancient walls, picking off douchebags.

3. Germany and Their Gas

We've all been there. Hustling to get to the David Hasselhoff/Shizer* Festival in Munich and we forget to fill up the tank. Big mistake. In Germany, it's illegal to run out of gas on the highway.

*Those are the only two things I know about Germany. (Other than Hitler, and now, gas laws.)

2. French Rulers Are Not Pigs. I Don't Care What You Say

In France, it's illegal to name a pig "Napoleon." The big joke on France is that during the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon demanded that his troops call him "Mr. Oinks-A-Lot." I swear. I read that in a book that I also happened to have written.

1. Cover Your Eyes in Front of That Mannequin

In England, it is against the law for a boy under the age of 10 to see a naked mannequin. But once 10 is hit, he's free to go to all the mannequin strip clubs he likes.
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