Hall of Fame
"It used to be all about the music. About jamming on "The Boys are Back in Town" until the girls woke up from their naps. Now as I look around the band, they all want to cash in on The Beach Boys name. Also, don't touch the hair."
-Jesse Katsopolis, singer Jesse and the Rippers
"Not being afraid of no ghosts used to be a vital part of our culture. And our success. Now it's just crossing streams and finding key holders and gatekeepers."
"When I started here as intern, the culture here was that of a team working for the client. Now it's just about making sure the cereal gets as soggy as possible so they have to buy more."
-Crackle, Rice Krispies
"With Harry no longer interested in leaving the water running after we loot a place, I can honestly say that the environment now is as toxic and destructive as I have ever seen it."
-Marv, Wet Bandits
"I sat in meeting where the deaths of horses were celebrated. How many horses do we need to kill before we realize nobody's watching this show, anyway?"
-A horse that was later killed, Luck
"I knew it was time to leave when I realized I could no longer look sandwiches in the eye and tell this was actually a good deal."
-Turkey sandwich, Subway