Nobody does “underwhelming” like Kristen Stewart, and with Twilight desperately breathing it’s last breaths this fall, what better way to celebrate the end of this seemingly endless movie franchise than letting Honey Boo Boo go as Bella, the female lead played by Kristen Stewart with her trademark lack of everything.
Kelly Ripa replaced Regis Philbin with an enormous black man. We’re sure Regis’s wife would like to do the same thing. So why not celebrate this new daytime combo by dressing Honey Boo Boo as Kelly Ripa herself?
Something tells me Honey Boo Boo doesn’t watch Enlightened. And something tells me she doesn’t even have HBO. But Laura Dern has been through a lot and she deserves to be Honey Boo Boo’s Halloween costume more than just about anyone else.
Barbara Walters has publicly admitted to watching Honey Boo Boo and her wacky family, making them the closest thing to poor people that Barbara Walters has been around since the early 1900’s.
With the Benghazi controversy inspiring millions of American children to replace “Trick or Treat?” with “Terrorist or Bored Libyan?” there’s no better time to dress Honey Boo Boo as our beloved Secretary of State. For extra points, dye your hair grey, shape it into a bob and dress up Honey Boo Boo as Green Party candidate Jill Stein.
An entire nation screamed, “It’s about time!” when Julianne Moore finally won an Emmy this year. But Julianne Moore’s Emmy win wasn’t celebrated nearly enough. And while I wish it had been declared a bank holiday, a loving tribute from Honey Boo Boo would also suffice.
Do you think Sasha Obama watches Honey Boo Boo? I do. So it would be great for Honey Boo Boo to show her patriotism by dressing as one of the first children this Halloween. Also, while we’re at it - Mama June as Michelle could potentially be the thing that kills me.
If there’s anything more ridiculous than Claire Danes it’s the idea of Honey Boo Boo dressed as Claire Danes. This would win first prize at any respectable Halloween gathering. Also Claire Danes is insane. How sad that Homeland has gotten in the way of her career swing dancing for The Gap. Do you think she still has her “boyfriend trousers”?
We have no doubt that Honey Boo Boo is the Lena Dunham of her hometown. Witty, precocious, wise beyond her years and having wet dreams about Judd Apatow. But while Honey Boo Boo’s tribute to Nora Ephron in the New Yorker paled in comparison to Lena’s, that’s no reason to deprive Ms. Boo Boo the chance to spend a night on the town dressed as the King of Pop, Lena Dunham.