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Funny quotes that were probably said but never documented.
Published July 09, 2012 More Info »
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Published July 09, 2012

  Independence Day Edition   "Hey, Hancock...ya know we all have to sign this, right? You self-absorbed jackass." --Various Forefathers    “I like my coffee like I like my women.” --Thomas Jefferson   "We’re fighting 13 colonies? Really? Can we break a mirror and walk under a ladder while we’re at it? Jeez!" --Superstitious General Cornwallis   “You can cross the half-frozen Delaware but can’t pick up your socks? Unbelievable.” --Martha Washington   "Give me liberty or give me gout?!  Ok, who's been messing with this?" --Patrick Henry   "Seriously, Britain...West Point is all yours. But there is of course my usual realtor fee. Sorry...industry standard." --Benedict Arnold   "1 if by land, 2 if by sea, and 3 if I have a girl over and don't want to be disturbed." --Paul Revere   “I should probably bequeath the copyrights to my screenplay for Spies Like Us, just in case.” --Nathan Hale    "Of course dumping tea in Boston Harbor is a good idea. I won't have a bad idea until I brew my Summer Ale." --Sam Adams   "What about solid blue? That would also make an excellent flag." --Lazy Betsy Ross   “We should get France to rescue us. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to repay the favor, I bet.” --John Adams   "King George can suck my liberty balls." --Ben Franklin     These and other #LostQuotesOfHistory are routinely posted on my Twitter page.    “Follow @KeithAlberstadt on Twitter!” --George Washington

Have a belated Happy 4th. Now go blow up some leftover fireworks.