1. He Was Awoken By a Naked Man Eating a Fudgesicle
This is the latest, and possibly the greatest, tale to be added to the lore of Nicolas Cage. According
to the City of Angels
âIt was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed. I know it sounds funny â¦ but it was horrifying.â
The leather jacket is a lovely touch. Obviously it was used for the intimidation that nudity and fudgesicles could not otherwise convey. Regardless, this could could only happen to one man on this earth. And it's this guy.
2. Named His Son Superman
Okay, so he didn't actually name him "Superman." He named him Kal-El, which is Superman's original, Kryptonian name. So OBVIOUSLY HE'S A TOTALLY NORMAL KID THAT WON'T GET HIS ASS KICKED IN SCHOOL.
Then again, I'm sure most kids know not to fuck with a kid whose dad has this face:
3. He Was Once Bailed Out of Jail by Dog the Bounty Hunter
Remember that time Nicolas Cage was arrested after drunkenly yelling at his wife and shouting "Why don't you just arrest me?" at the police. Good times. Well, after discovering the consequences of the phrase "Why don't you just arrest me," Cage's bond was posted by none other than Dog the Bounty Hunter
4. When He's The Worst, He's the Best
5. He's Been Accused of Stealing Dogs
In her autobiography, Kathleen Turner alleged that Nicolas Cage was constantly drunk on the set of Peggy Sue Got Married and even stole a dog: "He'd come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket."
Alright, so this was later refuted. But not after everyone believed it because who would question that Nic Cage would steal random dogs off the street and hide them in the leather coat that would later be worn by a nude fudgesicle enthusiast? Nobody.
6. His Reviews of His Own Movies
On Ghost Rider: "As far as superhero films go, cinematically [Ghost Rider] is going to be the most interesting character ever in a movie.'
Plot of Ghost-Rider: Man sets his head on fire and solves crimes.
On Face/Off: "Without tooting my own horn - I think Face/Off is a masterpiece."
Plot of Face/Off: 90 minutes of being a fucking masterpiece. No argument here.
7. He is the U.N.'s Goodwill Ambassador for Global Justice
Can you imagine sending this guy anywhere as a representative to anyone
. The only way this works is if, unbeknownst to us, the UN is actually filled with a bunch of guys in bear suits who have a proclivity for punching women in the face. If that's the case, Nic Cage is certainly your guy