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Andy Dick- He will make her gay.

The Situation- Anyone sharing oxygen with him in a confined place over 15 minutes will contract, Herpes Symplex: All, Douche Baggery, Hepatitus A,B, and Y, Hammertoe, loss of concept of reality, hair erections lasting longer than 4 hours, and the AIDS.

Wilford Bremley- Trust me... you don't wanna know.

Ben Roethlisberger- Rape

Andy Rooney- You thought she bitched and complained too much before?

Michael Jackson- He's fucking dead. Why would you want your girl in the same room as a dead guy?

Donald Trump- The smell of megalomaniacal, pretentious, narcissism with a hint of failure doesn't wash away easily. Not to mention the 6 months of daily douching required for the bang box's contact buzz from him opening his mouth and saying words.

Ryan Reynolds- He'll fuck her silly and then you'll have to hear how "funny" and "charismatic" he is.

Glen Beck- She will commit suicide (user discretion advised)

The most interesting man in the world- He's the most interesting man in the world. Do the math, every female he's ever banged has a full back tattoo of his face.

Matthew Mcconaughey- (See Ryan Reynolds)

Chuck Norris- No comment

Rush Limbaugh- You thought she was full of shit before?

Carrot Top- (See Andy Dick and/or Glen Beck)

NKOTB- Principle


Bill O'Reilly- The assault charge coming from having to punch the stupid out of her

Justin Bieber- Murder charge because some little fuck with stupid hair got stinky with your girl

Jon Bon Jovi- Why? Because fuck Jon Bon Jovi

Prince- He will do things only Prince knows

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