C'mon guys, leave the cameos and starring roles to those who need it.

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October 18, 2011

Nicolas Cage

nic-cage-arrested.jpgI used to feel bad when I would read about first-time screenwriters getting their movies green lit only to have Nicolas Cage cast in it, as it would likely kill their career before it even began. But at this point, all screenwriters should know what they're getting into. Fact: Nicolas Cage is in 71% of all films produced since 2003. It's no longer making it in the film industry. It's making it in the Nicolas Cage industry. And if you don't agree, he may just take your face…off.


super-bowl-XLV-fergie-slash.jpgHere's every conversation Slash has ever had:

Anybody: "Hey Slash we're gonna need you for--"
Slash: "I'm in."

Samuel L. Jackson

images.jpgObviously. And we're not complaining, either, as we enjoy each gig the man accepts. Here is a sampling of his work (there's not a dud in the bunch): Pulp Fiction, The Other Guys, Juice, Coming to America, Star Wars 7: Jar Jar's Revenge. He was also the DJ at my cousin's Bar Mitzvah, and I'm pretty sure he sang backup on the most recent Kings of Leon album.

Daniel Day Lewis

lewis.jpgJesus, it's like every four years, he's like "Yeah, I'll do your prestige picture that will earn me all of the Oscars." This fucking guy. You don't have to accept every script your agents hands you, man.

William Shatner

Screen Shot 2011-10-18 at 10.57.28 AM.pngDid you know William Shatner is 397 years old? Actually that's not true. He's 396, which is still far older than expected, so he gets a pass. This guy is holding on for dear life and taking any offer that comes his way. So if that means teleporting into talk shows once a week, doing roasts of actors he's likely never heard of, or even starring in shows on CBS, good for him.

Snoop Dogg

Case in point: 


Winner: Snoop Dogg