Hall of Fame
If underwear is called underwear, then
why don’t we call outerwear overwear?
And if we wear our outerwear outside,
does that mean we’ve already worn them
out and need to buy new ones? Plus,
if we fit in our outfits, why do we
still call them outfits? Shouldn’t we
call them infits until we
outgrow them? Then once they no
longer fit, we can call them outfits.
Makes more sense, right?
Ever wonder if Ray Charles donated his
Ever get startled when you pop open
one of those crazy tubes of Pillsbury
Teachers give kids homework so parents
don’t have to watch cartoons all
Ever call someone and an operator
says, “Please enjoy the music while
your party is being reached?” You’re
like, “MY PARTY?! WHAT PARTY?! I’m
just trying to reach my friend Marty!”
If you’re ever in the mood to start a
conversation with a piece of steak,
you could always start off by saying
something like, “Wow, you’re really in
rare form today,” or, “Nice job! Well
What is it that makes Wild Cherry so
Don’t you love going to a restaurant
on your birthday and the entire wait
staff comes to your table to sing the
Happy Birthday song to you? You’re
like, “That was awesome! Do you guys
know “Wheel in the Sky” by Journey?!”
Humans must have discovered seals
after discovering catfish, because
there is no other reason why they
didn’t just go right ahead and call
Magnetic jewelry is attractive in two
Guys, if your girlfriend says she
wants you to go to Jared for
Valentine’s Day, don’t take her to
Subway. That’s not the Jared she’s
MORE UNCOMMON SENSE
What ever happened to the Swine Flu?
It just flu away?
Ever hear someone say, “Don’t take it
personally?” Well, what do they
expect? You’re a person! What other
way would they want you to take it?!
That’s like insulting your pet parrot
and then saying, “Oh, don’t take it
Guys, if a girl tells you a random guy
she just met asked her to marry him,
don’t ask her if he was drunk.
You know what you never hear about?
Bees who commit suicide by stinging
Ever have a dream where someone you
know aggravates you, then even after
you wake up, you still can’t help but
be upset with these people in real
life? They’re like, “What’s your
problem?” You’re like, “Oh Joanne,
don’t pretend like you don’t know!”
How bored do you think the person who
invented olive loaf must have been?
“This bologna sucks! I think I’m
gonna spice it up with a few green
olives. Hey, bologna laced with
olives now, there’s an idea! I
shall call it ... Olive Loaf!
You know, you could leave a male light
bulb and a female light bulb alone in
the same room, and they still wouldn’t
be able to turn each other on.
Don’t people with hands-free phones
always seem to be talking to you?
Do you think people who just don’t
You know, there’s nothing better than
a nice morning-after Buffalo wing
Ever go to open a new box of cereal
and end up shredding the flap into
pieces? What a way to start your day.
You wanted bran flakes, not box
Don't the people who work at the U.S.
Mint always seem to make a lot of
Ever notice teenage girls tack an
extra “Uh” sound onto the ends of
ordinary words when they’re mad?
They’re like, “Ew-uh! No-uh! Go away-
uh! Come on-uh! Just go-uh!”
Whoever invented the Stick-Up Bulb
should stick that stupid light bulb
over their head each and every time
they think up another crazy idea.