See the Pirates get up over 500% so i can go see them in a playoff game. (Just keep dreaming my life away right.)
Go see a few Cavs game before they move out town. ( F*ck you King James.)
Win a bar fight ( because am sick of getting my a*s handed to me.)
Get laid a buch of time and can even be with the same chick for all care. (it's been long f*ckin time.)
Become mormon an buy my self a russian and a asian bride (or mybe i just stick with the hookers and the catholic religion for now.)
Smoke a dank a*s jay with woody harrelson, Willie Nelson and Snop Lion at the same time. (But getting high with Bill Maher will do.)
Get a d*mn job! (Because this sh*t isn't paying.)
Taking the gang on a road to canada. ( so i can get high an drunk at the same time with out going to jail.)
Get the H*ll up out of my parents house for good for the love GOD! (There going to kill me some time soon i can feel it coming.)
Hit it rich. ( H*ll i been playing the PCH everyday for 4 years so it's my time baby!)
Kick my brothers ass before checking his ass into rehab (he needs both very very bad.)
Bang three super hot cougar ladies at the time. ( i'll buy the metamucil becuase bonner pills here i cum!.)
Doing what the f*ck i want, when ever i f*ckin feel like it, an doing that sh*t how ever the f*ck i want to do it God D*MN it! ( BECAUSE AM A MAN!)
impregnate someone really rich and famous. ( An become even more worthless.)
Just live to see 2014 that is all. (Because sh*t is f*cked up these day an you know it.)
So i once sprayed a fire extinguisher into my own eyes an i have also done this with pepper spray and i must say the fire extinguisher hurt more.
i once a woman out on her period so now i have what they call my "red wings".
i once ate pills my i found doing community service an ate them at work an had an OD an was in the ER for 3 days.
i once let a chick pee on me because she is into that kind of stuff. (So they tell me but i can't really remember much from that night.)
i once drank a bottle a half jar of moonshine in one drink ( puked in my parents trying to get to the bath room and then all over the house that day. An i can thank my brother for that one.)
i once got busted huffin gas as a kid. (why do you think am so dumb now.)
i once banged my some what of a girl friend's friend in her dads kitchen after a drunkin skinny dip. (GOOD TiMES) An now that some what of a girl friend is married to one of my best friends because i felt bad about things so i hooked them up together. Ture story
i once went to jail for having an open container on the beach in the middle on winter this one time we stole are friends car we where working on RiP Oyster your my boy!. ( but i got them cops back by pissing in the cops SUV and in the Station.)
i once ate 10 hits at all at the same time. (An that was the day i lost my mind for good.)
i once did a bunch of bad sh*t but lucky for me i can't remember sh*t. So a f*ck it! Because where all going to h*ll in my book.
i once had a movie charcter based off me. (the drunk guy from that one Kevin Smith movie. ps Kevin Smith is not only cool but a real nice guy.)
i once was thinking doing this was cool an funny but it's not so am done.