#1 His nickname is "Chewie." That name makes me think of brownies. Your name does not.
#2 He never has tan lines. Ever. Your tan lines disgust me.
#3 His voice is a mixture of a walrus, lion, camel, bear, rabbit, tiger and badger. This means... you guessed it; he has tiger blood in him. Which means he is winning. You lose.
#4 He was Hans Solo's first mate & BFF, and companion. No homo. (OK so maybe they have a little bromance going on)
#5 He has retractable claws, suddenly those ghetto nails look a hot mess huh? Hood Rat Stuff.
#6 He is half dog & half man. He will keep you company and he can clean up his own poop.
#7 If you date him, chances are you never have to shave your legs.
#8 He is a Wookiee. Wookiee comes from the Greek word, á¼±ÏÏÎ¿ÏÎ¯Î±, meaning "that which is better than you." It's a real thing. Look it up.
#9 If I go to dinner at Chewie's house, I expect one or two hairs in my food. When I come to your house, there better not be a single hair in my food.
#10 I am certain that Chewie and Princess Leia hooked up, thus spawning the coolest teen on the plant. None other then Mr. Teen Wolf himself, Michael J. Fox.