A short list on why democracy sucks the big one.

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November 02, 2010

1. The Super Friends never had any votes. They just did what Superman said. If it's good enough for them it's good enough for us (P.S. I will be playing the part of Superman).

2. Doing Democracy is hard, and requires reading, concentration... Oh hey, I think that new zombie show is on AMC. See ya!

3. Democracies don't last. I saw a documentary where a republic fell apart even though they had Jedi knights. What chance do we have?

4. Christine O'Donnell, Sharron Angle, and Tom Tancredo. Even if they don't win, just the fact that they have wide support is soul crushing.

5. I've watched American Idol too many times.

6. Democracy requires even good (less bad) politicians to lie to you. No U.S. politician would win office if they told the populace what had to be done (maybe politicians in Britain can - they took an axe to their budget, but we're not the Brits).

7. I've see the old news reels of Mussolini's Italy and it looks very clean. I think that says a lot.

8. I think it's really too much to ask people to get off their asses to go vote. I mean, they should give out treats at the polls, maybe cheesy-poofs. I like cheesy-poofs.

9. What has democracy done for me lately? Crappy commercials and really insipid debates? Screw democracy.

10. For those of you who still believe in democracy, I suggest outsourcing our voting to the Swiss and let them handle our mess. Then we can blame them when things continue to suck.