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Alright, we get it. She's not considered attractive by internet standards. That's fine. But is there really a need to repeatedly call her a horse or make references to the fact that you think she has a horse face? Nope. Not at all. Let's examine why.

She's a Middle-Aged Woman

middle.jpgAnd she looks like a middle-aged woman. If I were a middle-aged woman and I looked like a middle-aged woman, I'd be okay with that -- given that's what most middle-aged women look like. Did she look better when she was in her 20s? Of course. All human beings do. When your mom hit age 46, did you say, "You know, Mom, you've really gone downhill as your body has begun deteriorating." No. That would be a terrible thing to say to another person.

This Is The Face She Was Born With

face.jpgIt's not like she Jacko'd it up, Frankensteining her face in a quest to look this way. This is her genetic material. "Excuse me, Ms. Parker. The internet seems to have a problem with your DNA, which as science has proved, is completely out of your control."

You're Insulting Ferris Bueller

ferris.jpgFerris has chosen her as his life companion. Shouldn't that stand for something? Let's face facts: a guy who can ditch school, catch a foul ball at Wrigley, sing in a parade, all while being the SAUSAGE KING OF CHICAGO, clearly could have had any woman he wanted. And he chose her. That's got to be worth something.

It Stems From a Dislike for "Sex and the City"

satc.jpgAnd that's not fair. Didn't like the show? No big deal. Not everyone likes the same things. But don't confuse your disliking of women in their 40s talking about bikini waxes with your urge to hate women. Let's just acknowledge that it was a critically acclaimed, groundbreaking show that appealed to specific demographic (namely, everyone who resists the urge to call Sarah Jessica Parker a horse).

If Anything, We All Have Horse Faces

horse.jpgWe're just not famous. Got that, fat guy photoshopping pictures of horses with Sarah Jessica Parker on it? You're a horse. We're all horses.
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