Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Every year, researchers at Beloit College interview incoming freshmen and discover fascinating things: cursive is dead, Congress is hated, etc. Here is what the class of 1914 had to say about modern life.
Published August 19, 2010 More Info ยป
28 Funny Votes
2 Die Votes
449 Views
Published August 19, 2010

Kindle

"The kindle is used to start a fire. You're gonna need a lot of kindles. You know, for roasting marshmallows and burning witches."

Facebook

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment-->

"I don't know what Facebook is, but when I was your age, it cost a nickel... Oh right, that's the place where you declare that you're going steady with Ally McBeal. Boy, she sure is fetching."

<!--EndFragment-->

Coke

<!--StartFragment-->

"It's a soft drink that contains cocaine. When I drink it, I feel like my hero: Sherlock Holmes. He was smart. Spent all day solving mysteries and snorting crack with Watson."

<!--EndFragment-->

Twitter

<!--StartFragment-->

"Tweets are sounds made by birds. Sometimes, they'll repeat themselves with retweets. If a bird has entertaining tweets, I like to follow them. It's the current trending."

<!--EndFragment-->

Birthers

<!--StartFragment-->

"Birthers is a fan club for Birth of a Nation. What a great film. They should make silent films in 3D."

<!--EndFragment-->

Franz Ferdinand

<!--StartFragment-->

"Franz Ferdinand. He's the archduke whose assassination set off a war. The Great War. Way better than the War of 1812."

<!--EndFragment-->

Gay marriage

<!--StartFragment-->

"Gay means happy. And yeah, happy people should be allowed to marry. Otherwise, their children would be born out of wedlock and choose to become homosexuals."

<!--EndFragment-->
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More