Move over, Twilight. Fidel Castro just released his 1,000-page memoir. I plan to hollow out my copy and use it to hide my Cuban cigars.

Full Credits

Stats & Data

February 06, 2012


  1. The title is Fidel: Rolling in the Deep.

  2. In true dictator fashion, he wrote it in all-caps.

  3. The New York Times says it’s a “great beach read.”

  4. In one part, Castro reveals he can’t stand the Cuban sandwich, saying: “Ham AND roasted pork? Really?  Why not stuff the snout in there, too, while you’re at it? No siree bob — I’m a cheesesteak man.”

  5. The memoir itself is only 300 pages. The other 700 pages are filled with the message “DIE, IMPERIALIST PIGS!”

  6. It’s dedicated to Snooki.

  7. In a chapter titled “Cuban Missile Crisis,” Castro relates a hilarious anecdote about the time he was having sex with his wife and couldn’t get an erection.