I'm JP Bannister. And That's a Good Thing
1. 40 Reclining Office Chairs
2. $10k Worth of Health Insurance for my Cat
This is Mr. Chuckles. Mr. Chuckles is the cutest cat in the world (Seriously, just check the diamond-encrusted plaque I had a hispanic man make for him.) Anyway, when I come home from a long day of making more money than 99% of the nation, nothing calms me down more than watching Mr. Chuckles jump from table to shelf and shelf to table. But as someone who knows a rheumatologist, I know he's putting on a lot of pressure on his joints. Joints I need to insure. And that Obamacare certainly isn't looking out for Mr. Chuckles, so someone's got to spend money out of their own giant wallet. Luckily I've got a lot of it.
3. $20k on Anything Made in China
Listen, I hate the country Obama learned everything he knows as much as the next guy, but I'm all about China's products. They make a good everything. You can't get these kind of products in America: shoes, reclining office chairs, American Girl dolls. Why? Because nobody wants the jobs necessary to make them. The Chinese, however, love it. Anyway, should I just make the check out to China?
4. 800 pairs of Jeans from Banana RepublicÂ
Oh, "we're making the United States into a Banana Republic." I get it, liberals. This is just to rub it in your faces. Cost: Eight THOUSAND Bucks.
5. Puchasing the Word "Superfluous"
Do I need it? No. But that's exactly why I must have it. That'll probably go for, what, $30k? Done and done.