Mouse carcasses are just the BEGINNING.
You think waking up to a rodents dead body at the front door is scary? Just wait...Just. You. Wait.
We hate Taylor Swift just as much as you do.
Seriously, who does this bitch think she's fooling?!
While you're at work we rub our junk on your pillow.
Sorry, but I'm not sorry.
We do see everything and we're telling EVERYBODY.
Especially that thing you did in the shower. Have you no shame??
We secretly like it when you walk in on us in the litter box.
Welcome to our sexy sexual fun time fetish.
Elvis? We killed him.
What can we say? Cats don't forgive and forget.
Hairballs are a privilege NOT a right.
It's our God given right to puke wherever we please and smile while you bend over to clean up the mess, peasants.
We don't have a problem.
We just do it recreationally, or at parties, or when we need to feel something... Stop looking at us like that!
Our tongues feel like sandpaper for a reason.
The reason is for licking ice cream in massive quantities. Please fill up a saucer with some neapolitan when you get the chance. K, thx!!!
We like it when you call us Pussy.
Yeah, no, we just looove when you say "Pussy" and laugh and laugh like a fucking moron. Come at me bro, soon as I get out of this jar imma claw your face off.