Things not to say to a girl while speed dating…In order of drinks I consumed.

By donovan brown September 30, 2011 | 593 Views

I got signed up to speed date by the guys at RadioAwesome and I drank like a Somali pirate on holiday.

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Social OFF

Cats plural?
Do you smell that?*
Are you having some sort of allergic reaction?*
I bet you dress as something slutty for Halloween.
How many kids?
Iâve got some serious road rage.*
Iâve never tried to crochet.
Did you shit yourself?*
God you look like my high school girlfriends mom.
Nick Swardsonâs gay.
Wait, you, own a âShake Weightâ?*
Do you have access to a pool or hot tub?*
Iâve seen you on Facebook.
I live with my dad.
Is that a Bloody Mary? I had two of those for breakfast!
My friends and I call an unbleached asshole a âshift eightâ. Seriously look at a keyboard.*
Wait, what the fuck do you do for a living?
Slow night tonight.
Iâve always wanted to ride in a rickshaw.*
Lisa?!
I love Lady Gaga!
How the fuck could you not like Anderson Cooper?!*
I do stand-up comedy.

Note

* I actually got that girls phone number or, she was Asian, or fat, or I farted and blamed it on someone else, or this is FCC legal to say on the radioâ¦

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