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John Kyl said that over 90% of Planned Parenthoods income comes from abortions when the real percentage is 3%. When asked about it his office said his statement WAS NOT INTENDED TO BE A FACTUAL STATEMENT. Thanks to Stephen Colbert for the premise. DISCLAIMER: All statements not intended to be factual statements. Or are they?
Published October 12, 2011 More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Stephen Colbert for the premise @tweetsfromabyss for the material. The tags are there to get your attention.

John Kyl freebases activia #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

The bitches make it rain on John Kyl out of respect #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

To answer your question no. John Kyl is not having fun yet #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl thinks the Ricki Lake show is still on the air #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl motor-boated Elvira #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl turned He-Man #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl finger popped the statue of liberty when he was 8 #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a tribal butterfly tattooed on his lower back #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's hammertoe has lice #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's fo' fo' makes sure all yo kids don't grow #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl takes extenze to balance the steroid scrotum shrivel #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #OrIsIt

John Kyl lowered the stage set piece prematurely on #BretMichaels #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #recedinghairline

John Kyl does a donkey show every year during spring break in Tijuana #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl thinks frequent backhands will cure cancer #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl pours syrup on shit and calls it pancakes #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

Joh Kyl bases all his decisions on the day's bowel movement #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was the first choice to replace Charlie Sheen on 2 and a Half Men #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's real voice sounds like Fenster in #TheUsualSuspects #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has rabies #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is Fred Thompson's stunt double on Law & Order #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #GoogleFredThompson

John Kyl knows the truth about Pat #SNL #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

When it comes to dogs John Kyl makes Mike Vick look like Sarah Mclachlan #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl doesn't need to be told to sweep the leg. #YouKnowDamnWellThatsAFactualStatement

John Kyl's drapes don't match his curtains #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl prefers @SamKinison's technique over @RonJeremy's #Cunalingus #ProbablyAFactualStatementButNotActual

John Kyl put Baby in a corner #DirtyDancing #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

The coat for #TeenWolf is made entirely of John Kyl's pubic hair #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl drops the N bomb regularly #CouldPossiblyBeAFactualStatement

#TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld follows John Kyl #ActualFactualStatement

John Kyl is not a licensed OBGYN but he does have soft hands and kind eyes which is enough #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was a Spanx model until the infamous brown boy incident #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a velcro fetish #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was once addicted to lint rollers #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is Danny Bonaduce's sponsor #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl killed Kennedy #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is the reason Norm Macdonald got fired from SNL #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's ass is located on his elbow #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl banged Medium John Edwards for gas money #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl teaches a night class called Pulling Out at the YMCA #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl took the Jonas brothers virginity... in the butt #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is Nicholas Cage's acting coach. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl got his start in politics as a 'cross dresser' for the KKK... while crossdressing #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl moonlights as a Kathy Bates impersonator the third week of every month #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a prison grade shank on his person at all times #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has chosen the Emmy's Best Variety/Music/Comedy Series winner for the last 8 yrs #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #ColbertGotRobbed

John Kyl has feline AIDS #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl broke an ankle doing the electric slide at a Presidential State Dinner #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a cellular family plan with Newt Gingrich, Milo, Otis, and Michael Steel #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was Greta Van Susteren's lower parts landscaper for 7 years #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl brushes his teeth in a bidet #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's IQ is banana peel #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is a member of a Frisbee golf league #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's cologne is Moth balls #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl taught Scott Stapp the Jesus pose #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a rat tail #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #MulletsAreFatRatTails #ThinkAboutIt

Jon Kyl shits stupid and pisses chlamydea #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl had a threesome with Mel Gibson and Walt Disney's frozen head #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is a practicing necrophiliac #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl can't see the color teal #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl doesn't wear rubbers #ItsAnInGrownHairNotHerpes #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl wrote season 8 of Dallas. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was the original drummer for Nirvana #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl + peanut butter+ dog = end of the day ritual #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl greenlighted Mind of Mencia #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl cast Jon Stewart in Doogal #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's idea of doggstyle is throat punching his wife while screaming, "Bad Dog" #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement


John Kyl has a black belt in crochet and minor in needle point #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was MC Hammer's accountant #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl once shanked a man over a bag of sun chips #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's safe word is Caligula #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl let the dogs out #ActualFactualStatement

John Kyl named his penis Margaret Thatcher #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl wrote the screenplay for 'Son of the Mask' #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has been penetrated in every orifice #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a take home abortion kit called 'Wire Hangers for Whores' #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl gave Liberace a lap dance #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl is the Chairman for all things NAMBLA #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl has a side business specializing in penis shaped party cakes #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl got a mustache ride from Geraldo #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl sits to pee #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was a party boy at Studio 54. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl banged pop star 'Tiffany' in '88#NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl doesn't recognize pollination. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #Thescienceisnthere

John Kyl is thinking about bringing back the Hitler-Stache. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #Jordanbeathim2it

John Kyl is the inspiration behind 'To Be With you' by Mr. Big #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl belongs to the same fraternity as Gerardo #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's weed guy is has the best dank one can find #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's campaign manager is Alex Trebek's mustache #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's high school nickname was, "Herpe McBaby Dick" #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl and @BritneySpears got matching C-Scars in Vegas #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl would fuck @BarbaraWalters (again) marry @JanetReno and kill @AnneLanders for being a nosey bitch #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl jumped on stage and cuntpunched Cher after she messed up the lyrics to #IfICouldTurnBackTime #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl doesn't trust spell check. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl thinks the movie 'Battlefield Earth' is good #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

All of John Kyl's homes are decorated with Bob Ross paintings #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement#PBS #HesACrookedTreeWe’llSendHimToWashington

John Kyl has an all white work van he only uses to cruise playgrounds #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl punches leukemia out of children #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl doesn't see the irony in egging abortion protesters #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl was majority investor in Evan Almighty #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #WeForgiveYouSteve

John Kyl judges all Ginger people on a Kathy Griffith scale #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl's take on the game is, "If pimpin' ain't easy you doing it wrong Nigga"
#ReadTweetsAbove #GetIt? #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl taught Sandusky the left stroke #notintendedtobeafactualstatement #toosoon?

John Kyl was an arm wrestling consultant for 'Over the Top' #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

John Kyl takes two handed granny shots when shooting the hoops #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement

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