You play it safe. But the world needs you out there, stabilizing the candy collections of all the kids in the world.
Full Size Snickers
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you liked making children's dreams come true. You sir are a king of kings.
You think all children are dumb fucks who will be excited by this. Kids are smart, and they know you'll oppress them with any chance you'll get. You are the man and cannot be trusted.
Minis from the Hershey's Variety Pack
You are too cheap to spend the extra dollar on the other pack. You know the one: with the mini Snickers, Milky Ways. etc. I don't know what company makes them. Mars? Whatever, that's irrelevant. The important issue at hand is that they're delicious and far superior to the Hershey's alternative. Fuck that bag, especially after all the Krackel's (Nestle Crunch's retarded cousin) are gone. You are a disgrace, sir or madam.
Dots Glued to Paper
You seem to have mistaken children for garbagemen. Because that's what you just gave them. Garbage.
100 Grand Bar
You excel at the long game. You know that kids won't be thrilled when they see this is their stash. But you know that they'll have their minds blown later, and will spread the word as to where they got them. By the end of the night, you'll have the most popular house on the block. Kudos to you. (The congratulatory kind, not the healthy snack that deceptively masquerades as candy.)
You treat children as equals, and that's great. It really is. But they're not. They're better than you and don't waste their fucking time with coconut in their candy. Have some fucking decency, you out of touch waste.
See Mounds, but replace "coconut" with "death"
You recognize a good tasting candy - something fun to eat and delicious. You also may be a dentist looking for new patients who lose fillings. That's cool. To each their own.
You're lazy. But you will be the most popular house on the block. Can't wait to see you next year!
- Hahaha YES HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
- What a bunch of hosers
- King of Kings!
- I'm more the type of guy who buys roofies, mixes them with caramel, and wraps them in cut-up pieces of shopping bag, before politely inviting the children into my quaint but surprisingly spooky home. Boo.
- So, what does not giving out candy, keeping the lights out say about a person?
- I don't know about Halloween candy, but while trekking in the mountains of Nepal, I would get so tired (trekked eight hours a day for three weeks) and end up sitting on the side of the mountain and cry my eyes out. The only thing that gave me courage were SNICKERS. It's amazing how they cheered me up and filled me with enough energy to carry on.
- how stupid
- Bahahaha XD
- I give out chocolate covered razor blades. The expensive ones.
- Oh Mike U know me well. I would have chosen the Mini Hersheys bag for that EXACT reason. Fuck it. I might as well save another dollar and get the old school peanut butter taffy in the twist tie wrapper. Oh yea
- I love candy corn, but in large amounts, not found at the bottom of the bag. American licorice is crap. Crappy crap, you should taste what it tastes like in Finland and other places. Its great.
- Dammit! This is EXACTLY how I categorize these candies. Spot on good sir! Spot on!
- dots glued to paper where lsd hits for us
- I only WISH they would give out Kudos!
- This is stupid
- What about those evil types that give out boxes of raisins?
- Dot candy paper is the shit
- this is awesome
- Hersheys miniatures are actually my favorite, people who give out Dots are the worst
- I loved getting dots on paper as a kid. I'm giving out fruit snacks as I'm tired of the greedy bastards that want one of each thing and most don't dress up. They don't put in effort = I don't. Maybe next year I'll just give out M &Ms lol. Does give me ideas ;-)
- I'm so tired of supposedly clever people using the word 'retarded". You can be a funny asshole without borrowing an overused, offensive word that most of us grew out of thirty years ago. Challenge yourself.
- Check this out it will make you cry tears of joy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IlpeagESpU