Take a drink when you see someone who probably shouldn't be there, probably wasn't invited and probably just showed up anyway.
Take a shot when you hear a correspondent on the Red Carpet pronounce Quvenzhané Wallis correctly.
(YOU WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY SHOTS ON THIS ONE)
Take a drink every time you hear an audible sigh of relief that Billy Crystal isn't hosting again.
Take a shot the moment you wish there were EVEN MORE adorable musical numbers.
(ONCE AGAIN, YOU WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY SHOTS)
Take a swig when you see an actress join the Courteney Cox/Jenny McCarthy/Jada Pinkett Smith/Demi Moore strange mystery plastic surgery club.
Chug it every time the producer picks the wrong actor for the moment to focus on.
(This was during the 'In Memoriam' at last years Oscars. Tsk Tsk, George)
Throw back a cold one every time you see someone "behind the scenes" win an award that looks like a child molester that re-confirms why they should stay "behind the scenes"
(and the award for Best Sound Mixing goes to....)