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Some people say the Oscars are long and boring. How do you remedy that? NOT watch it? No, that's stupid. YOU GET WASTED!!!!!!
Published February 20, 2013 More Info »

#1

Take a shot every time you see an E! correspondent try to uncomfortably climb inside a celebrity's butt, while putting their "very obviously already being made fun of" gown on the Glam Cam.

(Looking at you Helena Bonham Carter)

#2

Take a drink when you see someone who probably shouldn't be there, probably wasn't invited and probably just showed up anyway.

#3

Take a shot when you hear a correspondent on the Red Carpet pronounce Quvenzhané Wallis correctly. 

(YOU WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY SHOTS ON THIS ONE)

 

#4

Take a drink every time you hear an audible sigh of relief that Billy Crystal isn't hosting again.

 

#5

Take a shot the moment you wish there were EVEN MORE adorable musical numbers.

(ONCE AGAIN, YOU WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY SHOTS)

#6

Take a swig when you see an actress join the Courteney Cox/Jenny McCarthy/Jada Pinkett Smith/Demi Moore strange mystery plastic surgery club.

 
 

#7

Chug it every time the producer picks the wrong actor for the moment to focus on.

(This was during the 'In Memoriam' at last years Oscars. Tsk Tsk, George)

#8

Throw back a cold one every time you see someone "behind the scenes" win an award that looks like a child molester that re-confirms why they should stay "behind the scenes"

(and the award for Best Sound Mixing goes to....)

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