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"Dear Hip Hop, We're very very sorry." -- White People
Published January 20, 2011 More Info ยป

1. Country Hip Hop Dancing

"You know what would be a great idea? Dressing up in outfits that TLC would wear in a way that would conceal how white we actually are. Once our disguise is perfected, which it no doubt will be, we can white up a storm and embraced by the hip hop community. Chris Gaines 4 Life."
--Not one person in the world...with the exception of these people.



2. Joey Lawrence's Music Career

Classic Joey Lawrence going on over here. This is off his album called "Whoa Blossom." While the skate-dancing and the fact that Joey Lawrence exists was a major blow the the hip hop community, he did nail one particular aspect of the era of 90s rap videos: playing football on the beach in street clothes. 90s rappers loved putting on their jeans and football jerseys and playing in the sand.

3. Stephanie Tanner's Music Career

No video here. But that's likely because hip hop historians have destroyed all evidence. But we can assume the track list contained song titles like:

"How Rude."
"Don't Touch the Hair" (feat. Jessie and the Rippers)
"Cut it Out" (feat. MC Gladstone)


4. MC Karl Rove

So a few years ago, Karl Rove, adviser to George W. Bush, decided to grace everyone at the Radio and Television Correspondents dinner with his hip hop stylings and super-fresh dance moves. Obviously. We don't know if this did more damage to the rap community or the nation as a whole.

5. Best Buy Dance-Off

No audio on this one. But what we have here is a metaphor for the white community's relationship with hip hop culture. See something innovative and fun, proceed to ruin it simply by involving oneself.

6. "Top That," from "Teen Witch"

Rolling Stone: Where do you envision rap evolving to?
Grandmaster Flash: Ideally, I'd like white kids on bikes to rap while in the context of black magic and sorcery.
-An interview that never happened

But it should have. Look how funky he is:

7. David Silver

Not Brian Austin Green. I will not hate on that man. He's obviously done very well for himself when it comes to bedding unattainable women. But David Silver, oh boy, that guy set white people back a bit. And hip hop even more. This was back in the early 90s. Yes, hip hop had its following. But I'm guessing a good number of the teenagers worshiping Luke Perry's sideburns were not going home and debating who the best emcee in the Wu Tang Clan was. Their exposure to hip hop was David Silver. And this is what he was capable of.



"This is very good rap music."
-Snow, upon watching this and being inspired to write "Informer"

Also, I see black people at West Beverly. First of all, nope. Second of all, if there HAD been black people at that high school (though I think this was on of those "Let's Prove We're Not Racist and Accept Kids from the Poor Schools" episodes), shouldn't one of them put a stop to this. This here is everyone's fault.
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