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231 Funny Votes
61 Die Votes
Published October 13, 2011

Let's face it guys, dating is absolutely horrible. You dish out an idiotic amount of money to spend countless hours with someone that you are more than likely going to hate 20 minutes in. Date after date of hoping it gets better when you know good and well you're just tormenting yourself. It's like Tivo-ing 'Whitney'.
Now comes the hard part, trying to find a way to get rid of this annoying troll. What's your reasoning? How do you justify it? Do you know a good spot to hide a body? 
You don't need a good reason guys! I've NEVER had a good reason, just do it! Don't believe me? Here's a list of every girl I broke up with in four words.

Ashley - Had A Dead Tooth
Krissy - Possibly Banged Scott Stapp
Samantha - Cried During Pearl Harbor
Kristen - Owned Every Seal CD
Beverly - Shopped at Old Navy
Tori - Vagina Smelled Like Cabbage
Eva - Found Out She's Black
Erin - Mouth Kissed Her Dad
Amy - Always Smelled Her Hands
Melissa - Wore A Steelers Jersey
Sarah - Tried To Finger Me
Kasey - Was Probably A Guy
Courtney - Arms Like Burt Reynolds
Alison - Made Her Own Pants
Carla - Thought Bandanas Were Cool
Trinity - Looked Like Ryan Phillippe
Rebekah - Had A Squirrel's Face
Tamara - Nipples Looked Like Ham
Brandi - Favorite Movie Was Fletch
Kelli - Worked At Big Lots
Candice - Another Big Seal Fan
Leslie - Preferred Wearing Pant Suits

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