The older i get the more of an ass man i become, yeah i used to think i was tit man but butts is where it's at for me now a days. "Now if only a sweethart of a womam would let me smack dees nuts off dat phat ass !" O! God ! Am a sad little man ladies. Who hasn't been laid in years. An hasn't been in love in even longer. O! F*ck my life !
Yeah man i need a robot that will work me out, so i can get buff and cut. Because am fat and lazy as a mother f*cker.
You know whats nuts, all my friends that are not dead all have a criminal record and or are on drugs. So since we attract what we are in life, that means i must be a real all around a*shole piece of f*cking sh*t ! O ! God why me ! WHY !
Look people i don't care what you eat, what you do or what you look like or what ever, so stop busting my balls about being a vegan, because i been a vegan for 11 and me being a vegan is never going to chance, so f*ck off an let me be me, as i let you be you alright ! Sidenote: Am done working in food for ever so don't call me about a cooking jobs anymore.
Funny or Die and all you other f*cker that use my ideas for sh*t you best pay up and now ! Because am the broker than broke mother f*ckers. So pay up.
Am such a loser that has seen so much porn, that ever time i jackoff it has to be to a live web cam skank. Because i need it live and i needs some chat time and cam to cam time you dig. Because am one sick lonely bum. Very sad life am living.
You know what is sad is that being in jail is more fun than being stuck here at my parents place. An if i don't get out of my mom and dad's place real soon i give up on life. Well i already did that but i mean am going to kill myself beating off. An the only thing my Suicide Letter is going say is "Am done f*cking myself now".