1. The Pope-Mobile will now be a tricked out Bently. No more of that golf cart bullshit. I'm ballah' Pope mutha fucka
2. All nuns at the vatican must line up for inspection. I wanna see what's under them robes. See who's from Brazil and who's frm Khazakistan if you know what I mean. If it looks like a yorkshire terrier crawled up there, they're gone.
3. All nuns must be Brazilian or Colombian.
4. From now on that swingy incense thing will be filled with weed. That's right, everybody gets a little closer to god with some weed.
5. No more tall pointy hats. Looks like a human dildo. How do you expect priests not pedofile when their role model looks like a tall male dildo. I'm wearin' a Yankees cap. All cardinals, and lesser members of the clergy must wear Mets caps.
6. Mos Def is now Cardinal of Brooklyn. He will also be in charge of the offical Papal theme song. It's party time in Vatican City bitches..
7. Vatican City will now be referred to as "Titty Palace"..
8. Everyone HAS to start wearing pants. No more man dresses. If the reason for this is unclear, please see change #5.
9. The Swiss Guard will be replaced by all surviving members of The Insane Clown Posse. Let's see some tourists try to fuck with them.
10. Sex, sex, sex. We are allowed to have sex with consenting adults. I can't emphasize this enough. I'm ballah. There's going to be music, weed, I'm getting PUSSY. Brazilian and Colombian. Also, please refer to changes #5 and #8 of you still don't understand..