Sarah Palin

Screen Shot 2011-10-21 at 11.11.38 AM.pngIf I see someone in a Sarah Palin costume, man or woman, I will rain haymakers upon them. This has nothing to do with any anti-Palin stance, nor do I wish her any harm. This is purely a natural reaction to lazy, unimaginative people putting in the least amount of effort. The exception of course, would be if you're going as "Sexy" Sarah Palin, which means dressing as Sarah Palin and not opening your mouth.

One Night Stand

onenightstand.jpgOh puns! I hate you all. And I will pummel the double entendres out of your belly.

Pedophile Priest (Complete With Fake Boy Hanging from Crotch)

Screen Shot 2011-10-20 at 4.01.36 PM.pngHahaahaha I get it. Because of the thing with priests. You are so edgy. I liked when you took a joke that people made ten years ago and made a whole costume out of it, one that completely reflects your poor taste. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I will punch you in the penis.

Anyone Who Puts Costumes on Their Pets

superdog.jpgI don't care how cute your pet looks (very), it is not happy. "Oh, you know who'd be a great Superman? My defenseless dog who does not have the capacity to make decisions for himself." You will be punched in the stomach and I will take your dog because it is a very cute dog. Thank you for the dog.

Austin Powers

austin-powers-costume-1.jpgDo I make you horny? Awesome. You must be turned on by outdated references. I bet that Austin Powers costume looks great in your closet next to your Rick James costume and Borat impression. I really don't know if people are still doing this, but I have to assume there are plenty of people, in a general a sense, who deserve a punch to the gut, so I'll go with the hypothesis that they're all wearing this costume.