if the time the Price is Right is your dinner time & Wheel of Fortune is your bed time.
When your old lady tell you to take out your teeth when going down on her. Hiyo!
You hand out hard candy all year round. "Because i know how much you kids love candy g golly"
When your Racist and don't even know it. "i'll do us all the fav and hold off on the racist jokes back because you got to be a real dumb ass hole to be saying that sh*t."
You have sat o your balls so meany times its doesn't even faze you anymore. "how needs them right because hell you haven't used them in years."
Your grandkids movies back in with you with there kids. "Thanks to U.S Economy and sluts this happens more than you think it does."
You still use words like Hussy, Dams, Broads or Show Girl. "yeah you see you might be old there buddy boy."
You remember a time when you came home from work there was dinner on the table and a BJ was under it.
You allso remember a time when a high school diploma & the american dollar was worth somthing.
You put on suits and set around the house all day in them evey day of your life since day one. "You see kids back in the day when suits where only worn by men and they wore them every day because they had self repect unlike my self."
if your watching TMC right now, or ever for that matter. "Farting dust and watch black in white flick with some hard candy sounds like a good day to me sunny boy."
You use Crisco over vagisil.
When you shit your pants because you don't feel like standing up and walking.
Your comb over is starting to look like Donald Trump's thing on his head.
When you tell the same storys over and over and agian about "The War" . "am talking WW2 here boys."
You think the internet is some kind of VD.
Your morring wood has been replaced with the morring runs.
when watching the Jersey Shore all you can think to your self. if it wasn't for the hippies this dumb ass shit would not be around! "DANM HiPPieS!"
You knew the guy who invented Cleveland Steamer. "Damn that man was smooth and he allways came in the back door."
Your a diehard Baseball fan.
You think now a days football is for fags because there all a bunch of pussy.
"The Last time you had sex Carter was in office."
You chat with your friends on the CB and talk about your recored collection.
Your grand kids call you P Paul because your allways pissing your pants.
You can't see what your looking at right now.
Well Daddy O am off to a rootin tootin shin dig of a party with some of my cats you dig old champ.
The only person alive that you know is your self and you can't remember a damn thing about that person. "You Just might be and old person."
You Might just be an old ass Person if you think an STD is some kind of new cop show on CBS.
Well then am off old champs to a rootin tootin shinding to pick up a few broads and take them back to my pad yeah see daddy O. Stay cool cats. GOOD DAY.