Some Superbowl parties are fun. Some are boring. And some are just bad.
- You see somebody using Tostitos Scoops to clean up puke.
- The host goes to the stairs and screams up, “DID YOU WANDER OFF WITH THE FUCKING REMOTE AGAIN, MOM?!”
- You overhear somebody say, “Hey Tony, make an ice run, would ya’? We gotta’ keep this body cold.”
- The “big-screen TV” is actually an empty picture frame with two naked guys behind it flicking a paper football at each other.
- The host says, “All you ladies standing in the back there, come on up front — there’s still plenty of open laps.”
- During every commercial break, the host’s wife mutes the TV and gives a Mary Kay sales pitch.
- No one can identify the seventh layer of the dip.
- Some guy in a turtleneck named Chet keeps coming up to you and saying, “Hi, I’m Chet. Have you tried my ‘Chet’s Mix’?”
- Whenever the quarterback throws a “Hail Mary,” the host pauses the game while the ball’s in midair and starts handing out rosaries.
- After every play, some guy jumps up and yells, “Rewind that last ass-smack!”
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