Some Superbowl parties are fun. Some are boring. And some are just bad.

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February 05, 2012


  1. You see somebody using Tostitos Scoops to clean up puke.
  2. The host goes to the stairs and screams up, “DID YOU WANDER OFF WITH THE FUCKING REMOTE AGAIN, MOM?!”
  3. You overhear somebody say, “Hey Tony, make an ice run, would ya’? We gotta’ keep this body cold.”
  4. The “big-screen TV” is actually an empty picture frame with two naked guys behind it flicking a paper football at each other.
  5. The host says, “All you ladies standing in the back there, come on up front —  there’s still plenty of open laps.”
  6. During every commercial break, the host’s wife mutes the TV and gives a Mary Kay sales pitch.
  7. No one can identify the seventh layer of the dip.
  8. Some guy in a turtleneck named Chet keeps coming up to you and saying, “Hi, I’m Chet. Have you tried my ‘Chet’s Mix’?”
  9. Whenever the quarterback throws a “Hail Mary,” the host pauses the game while the ball’s in midair and starts handing out rosaries.
  10. After every play, some guy jumps up and yells, “Rewind that last ass-smack!”