Most of these guys grew in one room apartments, eating welfare peanut butter sandwiches and sharing a bed with a dozen other siblings; and I predict that most of em will end up right back in that same lifestyle shortly after they retire. I guess taking out that $100k loan with a 110% return interest rate in Vegas doesn't seem like such a good idea now that you're living in your car. Tough break bro...
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Published: February 18, 2013

1. Allen Iverson (AKA A.I. or The Answer)

It's truly sad to see this future Hall of Famer struggle to get back into the NBA. And you're probably asking yourself, why does he want back in the NBA so bad? He must have a lot of money saved up. Right? Well, he actually doesn't. Yup! He pissed away nearly $154MM on jewels, mansions, child alimony, exotic fish tanks, jet packs, rare paintings from artists he knows nothing about or ever will. Not sure if there's an "answer" for you Allen. Get it? I said answer and that's his nickname. 

2. Meta World Peace (AKA Ron Artest or Captain Insano)

He's got the skills, the talent and athleticism to be a Hall of Famer, but unfortunately he also has voices in his head that tell him "EVERYONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR SOUL!!!" I predict, he'll continue to go Gary Busey crazy; lose all his money in some telecommunications pyramid scheme; end up committing himself in an insane asylum; escape the asylum by smashing open a bared windowed using a drinking fountain. Hmmm that would make for a great screenplay and possible film. I'll call it "The Black Guy who went Badshit Crazy and tossed a Water Fountain threw a Psychiatric Ward Window". It's a working title. 

3. Ben Wallace

This undrafted former street baller rose to the top of the NBA ranks and not only won a NBA championship, but labeled himself as one the best defensive players of all time. And no he's not broke now, but he will be. He'll end up back on the streets; hustling middle class white folk for money in some pick-up b-ball games, while foraging for food in the near by public park like a squirrel.

4. Chris Andersen (AKA Birdman)

I know what you're thinking "this guys white. There's no way he'll go broke". Well, I thought the same thing, but those tat's seem like a dead giveaway that this guy is gonna develop a trendy heroin habit when he's finished. Although I could be wrong. It could it be a meth habit.

5. Jermaine O'Neal

Having the last name 'O'Neal' must come with some unruly ego. Both Jermaine and Shaq spend their money on such extravagant shit including yachts, mansions, escorts (Ford SUV), and exotic fish tanks! I mean it's like these guys are forever 10 years old and won't grow up. Well Jermaine I hate to break this to you, but you don't have money like your buddy Shaq. Let's just hope that big ass head of yours has a brain in it.

6. Eddy Curry

It's hard to believe these are 'before and after' pic's

I guess Eddy didn't want to put the folk down. He couldn't cause he ate it

'ba-dum ching'!

Even a decent NBA minimum salary couldn't keep him from not wanting to scarf down sixteen Big Mac's a day. Seriously look it up. It's not a lie. The dude eat sixteen f**king Big Mac's a day 

You'd figure he'd look like after he retired

'ba-dum ching'!

He makes Charles Barkley look like Tony Horton (the P90X dude) 

'ba-dum ching'!

You know the saying - Once you go fat, you usually end up getting diabetes 

'ba-dum ching'! 

Can you believe this guy has a NBA championship ring? I heard he cried when he found out it wasn't an onion ring

'ba-dum ching'!

Thanks a lot folks. You've been a great crowd! Goodnight

 

7. Zach Randolph

In 2003 Zach was arrested for being caught under the influence of marijuana. We all know that 'pot' is the gateway to more expensive drugs like cocaine, heroine or exotic fish tanks. I have a friend who is currently addicted to marijuana. He now has a good job and loving family. Don't let his happen to you. Be aware and talk to someone if you have an addiction.

8. Rasheed Wallace

He is the all time leader for technical fouls. And once called Michael Jordan the N word. Yup, a ninja. He looks like if rappers Redman and Ol' Dirty Bastards had a crack baby and it was put into that machine from 'The Fly' with an even uglier crack baby. 

Oh almost forgot. He'll go broke from uhhh...I don't know hookers, exotic fish tanks or something

9. Rashad Lewis

If only he could save his money as well as he shoots 3 pointers. That's all I could come up with.

10. Gilbert Arenas (AKA Agent Zero)

"Here's Agent Zero. Now...plain Zero"!

Yeah, definitely going to end up living in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!!!! Chris Farley. SNL. Anyone? Anyone?

Un-honorable Mentions

J.R Smith
 

Udonis Haslem
 

Andre Iguodala

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