Hall of Fame
Sporting a bald head and crossed arms, Mr. Clean is scary because he never speaks. EVER. Not only does he never speak, but I don't even think he's alive. In many commercials, he's just floating- an apparition, a terrifying ghost of cleanings past! And that's not all: he doesn't even have a real name. Nobody knows who this mute, dead, obsessive compulsive person even is (or was) yet he's in your house, watching you clean your bathroom. And, look at those eyebrows. LOOK AT THEM.
Did you know that he's French and his name is actually Bibendum? Neither did I. And that's a creepy enough name to get anyone onto this list. Not only is his name creepy, but just look at him! He's a giant pile of white, puffy tires. He doesn't even make any sense. If I needed a spare tire on the interstate and this giant came up to me, I would push my car to the nearest exit. He's also easily associated with the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, which makes him even scarier.
Imagine going to the park with a loaf of stale bread, sitting down on a bench, and feeding the ducks. It's a beautiful day with the sun shining upon you as you nourish the birds of the park. A strange duck comes up to you with an almost determined look, a gleam in his eye. You've seen this look before in the eyes of door-to-door salesmen and sleazy car dealers, but surely this duck isn't going to try to SELL you something. Or is he? The duck screams at you about insurance and tells you why Aflac is the best choice for you and your family. But, he doesn't scream at you in just any voice, it's the voice of none other than Gilbert Godfrey. GILBERT GODFREY: the man who has made a living off having the worst voice in the history of people. IT'S GILBERT GODFREY in the form of a duck. Spine-chilling.
He's huge, he's got green skin, and he wants you to taste his big ol' peas. The Jolly Green Giant made this list because he's a creature from the deep, dark, hellish depths of your parents' farm. Not only is this guy physically terrifying, but his attitude is as well: he wants you to eat your vegetables. VEGETABLES. This creature is truly evil and should be the most hated mascot of children everywhere.
OH YEAH, the Kool-Aid Man. This creature has haunted my nightmares. How did he come to be? Is he a cross-breeding experiment gone wrong or did someone give birth to this monstrosity? HOW BIG ARE HIS PANTS? No parent ever questions the giant, animated pitcher of liquid pouring drinks from the huge orifice in his head! Not only is this maniac offering his sweet, sweet blood to children, but he also watches them drink it. And he breaks through your house, screaming at you in an almost sexually satisfied way. The Kool-Aid Man is the epitome of creepy.