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Plans for a third film in the Crank series were recently announced. No plot details have emerged yet, but here are 8 plausible sequel ideas.
Published July 26, 2011 More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Crank: Super Cool Dude co-written by Brian Glidewell (@Brianglidewell)
487 Funny Votes
421 Die Votes
16,361 Views
Published July 26, 2011

CRANK: SUPER COOL DUDE

SuperCool.jpgChev Chelios’ has been injected with a toxic amount of Testosterone. He only has two hours to find a cure before his balls explode. However, the insane amount of Testosterone has turned him into the coolest dude in the world. With great raditude comes great distractions: Chev must avoid the temptations of playing volleyball with hot babes, popping wheelies on motorcycles, and judging wet t-shirt contests. 

CRANK: VAGINA

Vagina.jpgChev Chelios’ penis has been stolen, and replaced with a vagina. ­

CRANK: CHICKEN FINGER FINGERS

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Chicken.jpgChev Chelios’ fingers have been replaced with chicken fingers. He hasn’t eaten in three days. He has to find his real fingers. He's so hungry, but if eats his chicken finger fingers, he won't be able to open doors. And he has to do two things today: kick some ass, and open doors. But it won’t be easy: the chicken finger fingers have a sweet, savory BBQ seasoning. They were fried the perfect amount, crispy and yet succulent. Also Chev gave up meat for Lent, and he's super religious. 

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CRANK: ELBOW AND ARROWS

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Elbow.jpgChev Chelios’ elbow has been replaced with a bow and arrows. 

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CRANK: DILDO HANDS

Dildo.jpgChev Chelios hands have been replaced with dildos. He only has two hours to get his hands back. But it won’t be easy-every woman he sees wants to use his dildo hands to pleasure themselves. To get his real hands back, he will have to avoid the rabid flocks of horny women. Can he avoid flocks of women trying to use his ligiments for masturbation purposes? What will he do with the dildos once he gets his hands back? Will he donate them to the lonely horny women? Try to sell them? Throw them away? <!--EndFragment-->

CRANK: 'I'M A GAY MAN' T-SHIRT

gayman.jpegChev Chelios’ t-shirt has been stolen and replaced with a shirt that says “I’m a Gay Man”. The shirt is very tight, so it’s hard to get off. If he doesn’t get it back, people will think he is a gay man. And as if things couldn't get worse, he's been dropped out of a helicopter...into the middle of a Gay Pride Parade.  <!--EndFragment-->

CRANK: SONG STUCK IN HEAD

song.jpegAn evil scientist has injected a potion into Chev Chelios with a terrible side effect: he has a U2 song stuck in his head. He can’t stop thinking about it. It’s really starting to piss him off. He can’t remember what the song is called. It might be “Zooropa”; It’s definitely not one of the big singles. It might be on the Greatest Hits. They don’t play it live very often.  <!--EndFragment-->

CRANK: CANKLES

cankles.jpegChev Chelios ankles have been replaced with cankles. He will have to get them back. But it won’t be easy: his socks don’t fit. He’ll have to buy new socks.  <!--EndFragment-->
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