As the title suggests, the monumental 10th episode of Franks and Beans takes its cues from the old “You don’t say!” telephone joke. The joke we’re parodying here is, in my opinion, one of the worst, most ridiculous jokes even invented, which is why I have such fondness for it. No one has EVER picked up the phone and immediately said “you don’t say!” One of these days, I’ll let that go.
Like You’ll Never See it Coming before it, An Old Joke is a one-trick pony. You get one joke and no more! You either like it or you don’t. Well, hopefully you like it.
I come by this joke honestly, but I’ve actually used it before in another setting. I’m going to go way out on a limb and assume that no one who actually reads this production blog knows that I also write comics. Well, I try to write comics. I mostly fail. But one of my successes is Mr. Massive, of which I managed to squeeze out one whole issue(!), selling it at the 2006 San Diego Comic-Con. Chances of the artist working on a second issue were always slim, but once he joined up with the Army and shipped off to South Korea, they bottomed out to, maybe, one sixteenth of a percent. I worry that he’s gonna get shot one day, and then we’ll NEVER make more comics! That would be a shame.
At any rate, I wrote a one-page script for the comic in which the two main characters played out the exact scene you see in this episode. It was never produced, and because I hate wasting good ideas, it was an easy convert to Franks and Beans.
If there’s ever a trivia show that specializes in the most obscure questions in the history of earth, take solace in what I’m about to tell you: the video game we’re playing during this shoot is the new Madden football game for the Playstation 3. What I thought would be a lively round of button smashing and joystick toggling is in reality rather boring to watch (the game is more replays and strategy than rushing and sacking), but Larry, to his detriment, owns a total of zero fighting games, which probably would have better served out purposes. I did take some comfort, however, in playing as the New England Patriots, purposely humiliating myself as Larry trounced me as the Pittsburgh Steelers. I hate the Patriots (as we all should), and seeing them lose, even though it was simulated losing, made me feel pretty good.
Interestingly enough, we’ve paired this extra short episode with our longest ending yet, which, on some distant planet, could count as a joke in and of itself (thereby negating my one-joke comment from a second ago). Now that we’ve established that we’re going to do the same basic thing after every single episode, we’re a little more free to vary from the core concept, and that’s what we’re beginning to do. It’s becoming one of my favorite things to do with F&B, and this is a great example of that.
First of all, Larry deserves a lot of the credit for how well this turned out. In my original vision, I was the one doing the filming and my angry comment would have come from behind the camera. Larry suggested that we should both be in the shot, and the scene benefited from that. He also dusted off an almost forgotten megaphone (apparently from a time when people were half the size they are today) which served as an absurd but surprisingly well-blended prop.
What made this scene work, though, was the apparent wellspring of hate and anger that both Larry and I have stored behind our good-natured personas. We decided to shoot this scene with simple dialogue cues but no out-and-out script, relying on our natural abilities to argue about nothing in particular. I hope you agree that the result was one of the funniest scenes of the series, even if it means that I have to reevaluate my newfound hatred for Larry.
Thanks, as always, for watching! See you next time for episode 11, the working title for which is “Message Boards!”
- Jeff M.
Episode 9, "Tree Hugger," is now online, and it represents a role reversal between myself and Larry in more ways than one. Bucking the usual trend, Larry took the initiative on this episode and came up with the starting plot points. This is not to say that all of the writing is usually squarely on my shoulders, mind you. Our usual routine begins with a stupid idea on my part, some scribbled dialogue on a blank sheet of computer paper, and some half mumbled camera shot suggestions. As we work through the loose shooting script, Larry will chime in with his ideas on how to improve the scene or how to reword the joke so that it actually makes sense. Not all of his suggestions are used, not all of his suggestions make sense in their own right, but most of them are and do, and there you have it, the secret to the success of Franks and Beans.
For example, Larry is the one who insisted that I modernize the dialogue in the first episode and refer to my video game system not just as a Nintendo, but as a Nintendo Wii, which I do have in real life and will beat you in tennis if you ever meet and play me. This addition seemed inconsequential to me, but dammit, Larry wanted it in and that's what he got. In an episode soon to be aired, Larry once again threw his substantial weight around and brought into the scene a humongous megaphone, and it actually did make the scene funnier as a result. So that's collaboration for you if I've ever seen it.
Another way in which this episode represents a role reversal is that Larry is now playing the fool, rather than the calm, sometimes dismissive "mentor-like" figure he plays in many of the other episodes in which I've done most of the scripting. It's interesting that we'd each choose the role of hyperactive idiot for ourselves rather than the voice of reason, but I guess there's a reason everyone liked Curly over Moe. At any rate, I found that I am quite good at getting into the role of someone who is haughty and self righteous, but I try not to think about it too much.
What I think is my favorite joke in this episode is also probably the most out of place scene. To show the passage of time (in which Larry does little more than vulgarize his idea for a great t-shirt) we cut to a scene of a winding clock - which probably hasn't been used in a 'real' production for six hundred years, only to pull out to find that I'm actually winding the clock on my own (gasp! He's breaking the fourth wall!). I love this sequence but it was actually inspired by an obscure camera foul-up a number of years ago on The Late Show with David Letterman, and for the life of me, I can't imagine why I still remember it. The show came back from a break and the camera panned over to Letterman, who was standing behind his chair, adjusting its height. When he realized that he was being filmed, he angrily dismissed the camera with several waves of his hand. Why I still think about this throwaway moment in time (because of this I'm probably forgetting something actually important) is a mystery, but I've always thought that brief moment of candor was particularly funny.
Finally, this episode features swearing for the first time ever, and oh man, we chose the mother of them all. The reason it was blurred and then bleeped out is not necessarily because we're prudes (though I don't think anyone thinks of themselves as a prude...even prudes), but simply because I think that a censored curse word can sometimes be funnier than an uncensored one. There's a scene in the first season of Sealab 2021 where people from the FCC let out a big long string of curse words, all of which are, of course, censored. A provided DVD extra allows us to hear the scene without the censorship, and I think most would agree that the censored scene - when more is left up to the imagination - is the funnier of the two.
Look at this, so much thought put into a nonsensical episode of a nonsensical two-to-three-minute-per-episode series. See? We don't just push record on the camera and say whatever comes to mind.
Well, okay. Sometimes we do.
See you next time for episode 10 - "An Old Joke!"
- Jeff M.
Can you hear that? It sounds like…new Franks and Beans!
If there has ever been cause for celebration, surely it is right now. No, your latest alimony check didn’t just arrive; you’re witnessing a wondrous new birth right before your eyes! Congratulations – it’s a blog!
Production on the 12th episode of Franks and Beans is just wrapping up, so what better time and place to give you, our ravenous fans some insight into the creation process than here and now? E…earlier, you say? NO! Of course not. Everyone knows that the 12th episode is the make or break mark for any series of worth. It’s practically a half-season commitment, for crying out loud! And it’s a nice, even dozen, at that. No, this is the perfect time to unveil the Franks and Beans Community Outreach Program, otherwise known as FABCOP.
Well, okay. Now that I look at it, I think a show called FABCOP could actually sell. It would star Jenny McCarthy as the world’s most fabulous police officer. She would dispense justice…and STYLE! I need to look into this.
If you’ve ever asked yourself (and you probably haven’t) where all the ideas for various Franks and Beans episodes come from, just look at the previous paragraph and you’ll get a pretty good idea. And while this blog’s purpose isn’t to be psychoanalytical at all, it probably says a thing or two about us, the creators. But that’s part of the charm, I hope.
At any rate, I am writing this late at night as a thank you for all of the views and comments thrown our way since Franks and Beans debuted back in January. Every time a new episode airs (there are four more in various states of completion) on Funny or Die, I will endeavor to produce a corresponding production blog with some interesting bits of information about each one. If all else fails, I’ll just go off on some wild tangent, but there will be something there.
So again, thanks to one and all for checking out our cheaply-made but lovingly-inspired web series, Franks and Beans, and head back here as new episodes air on their sporadic intervals to read all about them. There are two ways to make sure you catch the new episodes as they are released: one, go to Funny or Die EVERY DAY for the rest of your lives, or two, add my good friend Larry to your buddy list. Or “people I love” list. Or whatever it’s called. Either is appropriate.
See you for episode 09: “Tree Hugger!”
- Jeff M.
