When I was in High School our class had a Car Wash to raise money for a Senior Trip. My father, who is  a VERY skilled machinist or grease monkey, came to pick me up. A fellow classmate (Not knowing the relation) said to me, I bet we can make a ton by giving that guy a wash. I told him I did not think we had enough soap left, then ran to my dad and gave him a big hug. 
One day I told my father "On a Redneck scale of 1-10, 10 being the biggest redneck, you are an 8"  His reply to me was " There ain't nothin' wrong with being a redneck"  My reply "Congrats you are now a 10!" Here are a few jewels from my father, words that come from his mouth on a regular basis. I will translate as needed.

Gawkin at the caulkin (Inspecting a project that needs to be completed)

Well, I let you jaw at your Mom (I don't have anything else I need to say to you, talk to your mother)

Kids! Put the guns down its time to Pray (Dinner is ready)

Yellow (Hello when answering the phone)

I'll talk at ya later (Good-bye)

Salsta (That spicy ketchup Mexicans use)

Amb-lee-ins (The big van that takes you to the hospital real fast)



I love my dad, Please, help me to communicate with my father better! If you have any Redneck slang, please, post them here!

I love getting mail, I really do! Love BIG packages of goodies delivered right to my door. WONDERFUCKINGFUL! Last night my husband tells me he is expecting some packages today from UPS and I need to stay home and sign for them. He told me they contain Christmas presents for yours truly, so don't peek! YEAHHH!!  The only thing I have to do all day is pick my daughter up at school at 3:00. So I wait, and I wait, and I wait, and at 3:00 I go to pick her up.(We live 3 blocks from the school) I SWEAR that little fucker waited down the block until I left then came by to deliver the packages. When, I got home at 3:15 and found a "sorry we missed you note" on my door, and no UPS guy within a 5 block radius! I was livid! I waited home all day, (Never mind the fact I would have been home all day anyway) and in the time I was gone I missed both the mail truck and the UPS Guy. I think they are working together to screw with my head and screw with my Christmas!
I have to wonder who else is in on the joke! My husband? My dog? My daughter, I mean she IS the only reason why I had to leave the house.  And the best part....I get to do it all over again tomorrow!!!! My only question is....What role did YOU play?

I am thankful for my husband who makes me laugh like a little kid, everyday.
I am thankful for my daughter who laughs at all my stupid jokes
I am thankful for my Country, where I am free to laugh.
I am thankful for my good health, which I attribute to laughing so much.
And last but not least, I am thankful for you, keep sharing the things that make you laugh!

What are you Thankful for?


“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection  of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson