Article Bold Budget Move, Obama Calls for Downg...
Added Bold Budget Move, Obama Calls for Downgrade from Walmart to Costco
by jpatrickobrien
Capitol Hill, Washington D.C. -- In an emergency, overnight meeting, President Obama made an official plea to the Republican party to downgrade government purchases from Walmart to Costco.
Views: 89
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Rating: 67% Funny
Article Tensions High as Congressional Date Auc...
Added Tensions High as Congressional Date Auction Approaches
by jpatrickobrien
“We simply cannot afford an elaborate catwalk like we’ve had in years past,” said Speaker John A. Boehner, who went for $600 in last year’s date auction.
Views: 18
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Rating: 50% Funny
Article Living Standards Experts, "We Need More...
Added Living Standards Experts, "We Need More Hipsters"
by jpatrickobrien
Geneva, Switzerland -- Over the weekend, a living standards conference brought together some of the greatest minds of our time. Among the attendees were prominent economists, psychologists, and hip...
Views: 217
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Rating: 67% Funny
Article Study Links Breast Milk to Male Genital...
Added Study Links Breast Milk to Male Genital Size
by jpatrickobrien
Atlanta, GA- Researchers at Georgia Tech have found an enzyme in breast milk that is known to be crucial in the developmental process of male genitalia.
Views: 2,188
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Rating: 61% Funny
Article More Secrets, Arnold Really is a Termin...
Added More Secrets, Arnold Really is a Terminator
by jpatrickobrien
California - Just when it seemed like all of Arnold Schwarzenegger's awful secrets had been uncovered, his ex-secretary opened up with another bit of horrifying news. Arnold is a terminator from th...
Views: 53
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Rating: 50% Funny
Video Leaked Video, Cleric Successfully Babbl...
Added Leaked Video, Cleric Successfully Babbles for Full Minute
from jpatrickobrien
The Leaky Wiki unearthed this amazing footage of a well-known Islamic religious leader emitting incoherent babble.
Time: 1:06
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Views: 319
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Rating: 25% Funny
Article Bid for World Power, Jamaica Bans Reggae
Added Bid for World Power, Jamaica Bans Reggae
by jpatrickobrien
At 1:00 GMT, Jamaica outlawed reggae music. Prime Minister, Bruce Golding said, "It is time Jamaica takes her place as a world power.”
The government cites findings by the JRC, Jamaican Reggae C...
Views: 70
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Rating: 100% Funny
Article Batman Found Dead, Juarez
Added Batman Found Dead, Juarez
by jpatrickobrien
Federales recovered a corpse on the street that was, "No question. That was Batman."
Views: 182
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Rating: 75% Funny
Article Syrian Rebels, Looking Good
Added Syrian Rebels, Looking Good
by jpatrickobrien
“I know what Americans are thinking,” says a fashionable Syrian rebel fighter, “why the hell do those guys have to look all ‘third-wordly’.”
Views: 76
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Rating: 50% Funny
Video Ahmajinedad Offers Wise Words to US Gov...
Added Ahmajinedad Offers Wise Words to US Govt Regarding Shutdown
from jpatrickobrien
Tehran, Iran – President Ahmajinedad addresses American politicians on this state-run TV station. He says, “You should not fight when ruling can be so much fun.” So, based on hi...
Time: 1:04
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Views: 946
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Rating: 50% Funny
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